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So this is what I am realizing about me. I am very satisfied to sit and do nothing. What I am saying is I just don't need a lot of activity to be content. In my mind I totally understand the calories in calories out of weight management, it is my personality that is slow in adapting into a more acive lifestyle. Now, I know personality changes happen, i.e. PMS, pychosis, etc. ; ) Shouldn't I be able to make some change in my personality so that it requires more activy to content. How do I find this discontentment?
Ah! You know, journaling really is therapeutic! ($75 per hour, thank you very much!) Just thinking through that last paragraph made me realize how wrong my thinking was. It is not some flaw in my personality. Of course I already have that discontentment. It is called depression. When I kept a mood log, it was regular exercise that brought my mood up. The problem is that when the drop in mood is very gradual, almost indistinquishable on a day to day basis. Finally, over time, I realize the drop and by then it is a fight with myself to start moving again. I remember with my last time round of depression it was so difficult to get started. My mind was screaming just do it, yet I wouldn't. I will not go back to that. That is my discontent. Starting today, I am going to see activity in a new way. Instead of focussing on how important it is to weight maintenance, which it is, my focus will be on the importance of controlling depression.
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