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I did circuit class today. It's a tough class. Different obstacles to go through in a team. Today was specifically tough because I couldn't do the burpees, bear walks across the room and the exercise that's like a downward dog but includes sliding 'mats" across the room... I kept slipping and landing on my knees. I was slowing down my team. The realization that I was struggling the most out of everyone else hit me hard and my insecurities surfaced and hit me like a hammer. I got teary when the instructor suggested the modified moves. It's what he usually does but something about today got to me. I had to draw for my weapon... "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4 v 13... I kept repeating it and got through the class.
As I sit here typing this with tears in my eyes, I can't help but think why I allowed myself to get to this point. The heaviest I have ever been in my life... sigh. It's going to be a hard road but I don't know anyone here personally so this is kind of a safe space to write my thoughts which I think will help me. The fight continues because I have two beautiful boys and a wonderful husband to live for...
Diet Calendar Entry for 10 July 2018:
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984 kcal
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Fat: 52.79g | Prot: 39.85g | Carb: 91.00g.
Breakfast: Avocados, Fried Egg, Sweetened Condensed Milk, Nescafe Hazelnut Instant Coffee. Lunch: Cauliflower, Spinach Spaghetti (Cooked), Chicken Thigh (Skin Not Eaten). Snacks/Other: President's Choice Roasted Cashews, Gala Apples. more...
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