Charm4u's Journal, 10 July 2018

I did circuit class today. It's a tough class. Different obstacles to go through in a team. Today was specifically tough because I couldn't do the burpees, bear walks across the room and the exercise that's like a downward dog but includes sliding 'mats" across the room... I kept slipping and landing on my knees. I was slowing down my team. The realization that I was struggling the most out of everyone else hit me hard and my insecurities surfaced and hit me like a hammer. I got teary when the instructor suggested the modified moves. It's what he usually does but something about today got to me. I had to draw for my weapon... "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4 v 13... I kept repeating it and got through the class.
As I sit here typing this with tears in my eyes, I can't help but think why I allowed myself to get to this point. The heaviest I have ever been in my life... sigh. It's going to be a hard road but I don't know anyone here personally so this is kind of a safe space to write my thoughts which I think will help me. The fight continues because I have two beautiful boys and a wonderful husband to live for...

Diet Calendar Entry for 10 July 2018:
984 kcal Fat: 52.79g | Prot: 39.85g | Carb: 91.00g.   Breakfast: Avocados, Fried Egg, Sweetened Condensed Milk, Nescafe Hazelnut Instant Coffee. Lunch: Cauliflower, Spinach Spaghetti (Cooked), Chicken Thigh (Skin Not Eaten). Snacks/Other: President's Choice Roasted Cashews, Gala Apples. more...

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Comments 
I think you’re amazing just having enough courage to write about it publicly ! I find this site so supportive and non judgmental because we’re all here fighting this battle to get healthy. You’ve taken the first step to better health and trying your best to get moving and I commend you for that. It’s never easy when you first start but you’re doing it getting out there and that’s all that matters. In time you’ll see the changes start and you’ll keep up I know you will! Don’t get discouraged because you are amazing girl! You have recognized what you need to do towards better health and you’re doing it-slowly but surely! Keep going and know we are all here for you! We support you! 
10 Jul 18 by member: dzemsta
Stay strong ♥️ 
10 Jul 18 by member: smolchild
Everyone here has your back. Journaling helps - especially when there are tears. I've had my share - both from typing my own entries and from reading others. You're back on track and good on you for taking that first step. Just be careful not to dive in too quickly and get discouraged. 
14 Jul 18 by member: JamaicaBoundNL
Wow... thank you all so much for your very kind words. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!! 
16 Jul 18 by member: Charm4u
i cried last week in my Taekwondo class... i got completely overwhelmed and couldnt get any moves right. I think we are hardest on ourselves.  
16 Jul 18 by member: jenniferD79
I know and we shouldn't but that's our nature. What matters is getting back up and trying again. :-)  
17 Jul 18 by member: Charm4u

     
 

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