In September 2005, my father passed away and I decided the small town of Spring Grove was not so small anymore. I was 145 pounds. I am only 5’ 3” and have a very large chest, so if I was much lighter I would look odd. I went through a few years of depression and by the end weighted 235 pounds. I met someone new and moved to New Orleans.

Since moving I have become a happier person but not by much. Just the minor attitude change did help a lot with my weight. Today I am 185 pounds without doing anything. However, I realized I am not happy when I look in the mirror or see any reflection of myself. I hide from pictures and now I am terrified to go on a cruise in 10 days. I have a feeling he is going to pop the big question and I do not want to look like this! I am embarrassed for him as he is very attractive, and I get the feeling when people see us together it is “what is he doing with her.”

So today (12/31/08), on New Year’s Eve, I will make my resolution. I am going to lose weight, and I hope to use this site to hold me accountable.