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30 July 2022

This morning I woke up in a funk. Usually every other weekend as an adult weekend with a boyfriend while the kids go to the other parents. This was supposed to be one of those weekends but my ex opted to not take my tiny humans. I’m a little disappointed because time with the boyfriend is limited. At the same time I’m grateful the boys are with me since the exs house isn’t an ideal environment. Plus I’m a little sore from my adventures in workouts so that probably doesn’t help.
I could choose to let the funky mood work it’s way through or I could choose to not let it linger. I chose the latter. I worked out to loosen up those tight muscles. I found my glutes! I knew they were in my butt however the glute bridges today pointed out the exact location as they seized in my first ever butt cramp! So um… yay? I have confirmed I’m working the right muscle groups.
The tiny humans and I are going to the minions movie in a bit with the boyfriend because he’s amazing and I miss his butt. And just for that added boost to the day we are doing what I am calling spreading smiles. It’s basically being the opposite of a Karen in every way. Instead of taking that extra step to complain like a disgruntled angry person who hates life you take the extra step to pay someone a compliment or give them a thank you like a dillusional happy person who may have lost their marbles. Ask to talk to the manager and then tell them what an amazing job someone did. Go up to a stranger and tell them they’re beautiful. If someone helps you take the time to stop, looked them in the eye, and give them a genuine thank you. The strangers will likely look at you like you’re a lunatic but once you turn your back and are a safe distance away from them hopefully they smile. Worst case scenario they call the cops on you and you can tell the cops thank you and compliment them on their response time.

PS. Thank you to everyone who reads my random journals. The support and comments everyone leaves makes me smile and feel grateful I have met so many amazing and supportive people. Just imagine a weird non-blinking stare with a crazed smile while reading this. I promise to back away slowly in a non-threatening way.. maybe. Or I just look weird moving in slow motion backwards. Thank you!

29 July 2022

The good news is I didn’t kill myself yesterday trying to work out. The bad news is I felt mildly confident and tried again this morning. By 3 o’clock I creeked like old rusty hinges every time I tried to sit down. Right now at 9 o’clock my thighs are reminding me that they do not workout. Ever. Ok sometimes a little but never in a squat/lung way. It was obvious they don’t do this because when the trainer suggested I grab weights I grabbed the back of the couch instead. It was at this point one of the tiny human told me I wasn’t doing it like that guy on the screen. The dog got excited we were both near his section of the couch so he decided to do zoomies through the living room. At this point I was glad I was grabbing the back of the couch because the dog almost took me out. No I’m not sure if my legs are sore because of the exercises or because I was almost taken out by an 80 pound dog. Either way my thighs seem to be telling me that we do not exercise. Exercising is dangerous especially when there’s a dog involved.

Also.. I’m feeling old. I did something to my elbow a couple weeks ago but I have no idea what I did. I probably sneezed or tried to hard to open a pickle jar but either way it kept getting sore. Advice from boyfriend is to get a compression sleeve since he too is falling apart and had a similar thing last year. Well now the other elbow hurts. Again I have no idea what I did. For all I know it’s because I sneezed wrong again. At this rate I’m going to need an entire body compression sleeve. Is that a thing? I want to look for it on Amazon but I’m afraid.

28 July 2022

I’m trying to work up the motivation to start doing workouts again. I do the elliptical but no weights. As much as I know I need weights I also know this is going to suck and hurt. I won’t be able to go down stairs. I will need the assistance of the railing in the handicap stall to pee. My arms will fall off. I won’t be able to sneeze without saying ow. And parts of my body will shake like bowls full of jello while I try to find my inner fit girl.

Motivation.. my body shakes like bowls of jello. I live alone and therefore have 2 pickle jars in my fridge that I cannot open. I can’t do a lung without falling over. I can’t do a push-up. Not even a little close. So much shaking. Arm flexing in a horizontal position does not count as a push-up. My butt is becoming a shelf. No one wants a butt shelf.

Ok I think I talked myself into it. Wish me luck. Ifit has a beginner strength workout. I will try that and hope I don’t die or sneeze in the next week.

27 July 2022

It’s been a challenging day but I’m trying to remember to be grateful for everything that I have. I’m grateful for my kids, a loving boyfriend, and for everything that we have in our lives. I’m grateful I didn’t strangle anyone today. I’m grateful I didn’t go to prison for trying to strangle anyone. I’m grateful I didn’t get myself fired today for saying something I shouldn’t. I am grateful I was able to keep my mouth shut and leave before I said all the bad things. I’m grateful for our new fishy friends and to the sales woman who kept convincing me I needed more. I’m grateful I got out of the pet store before I spend all of my money. I’m grateful I didn’t see any free puppies in the parking lot. I’m grateful I resisted the urge to eat my weight in candy. I’m grateful I survived today. Yup.. totally grateful and positive stuff.

26 July 2022

OUCH! My scale is super mad and mean this morning. We just got back from vacation and I may have vacationed a little too hard. It was so nice to not log onto work though! Also I became aware that Tequila Sunrises count as a breakfast drink. All the bad decisions happened after that point.

I'm motivated and determined to get back at it. I worked out on the elliptical this morning. I'm logging. My pants are reminding me why I'm logging as they attempt to slowly strangle me to death or brand me for life. I'm not sure what the pants future plans are but it's motivating me to be smaller. Sooo.. today is day one.. yada yada yada.. Fresh start.. yada yada.. Today is the day.. yada yada.. motivational sayings and all that stuff. In short, today I am pulling my head out of my own butt and shifting from vacation mode to logging and working out mode.

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