Instantcrazy's Journal

Instantcrazy's Profile |Send a Message | Weight History

showing entries 76 to 80 of 150

Page: Prev ... 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 ... Next

21 October 2014

Disclaimer: I was in a van for a very long time alone today, and the girlfriend is at work, so I'm still alone, consequently, there is a lot of rambling on here.

I learned I can not keep snacks in the work van. I get bored on long drives, so I snack, then I get bored some more, so I snack some more. It does help if they are super spicy because then I can't eat a ton, but I just wait until my tongue cools off and...I think you see where I am going with this. Needless to say, there are no more snacks in the van. Tomorrow I will probably be sulking because there are no more snacks in the van, but I will just have to get over it you big baby! Sorry, had a moment.

I was on a website looking up measurements for plus size models, and can somebody please tell me ON WHAT PLANET or IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS A 5'11" 130 LB WOMAN PLUS SIZED???!!? I was a little mad when I read that. I want to go back in time to the 60's and shake the people who thought skinny little models were a good way to go! I don't just mean I'm want to grab their shoulders and shake them, I mean I want to pick them up with my teeth and shake them like a dog with a rabbit. Yes, I understand there are naturally tiny women, but when that becomes the standard and EVERY woman is held to that tape measure, it's shaking time! If you haven't heard Meghan Trainor's song "All About That Bass" you must. One of the lines is:

I see the magazine workin' that Photoshop
We know that shit ain't real
C'mon now, make it stop
If you got beauty, beauty, just raise 'em up
'Cause every inch of you is perfect
From the bottom to the top

At what point does someone hold the fashion industry accountable? Makes me want to SCREAM!

Which sort of leads into my next paragraph. One of my gumball machines was broken into at some point during the week. I have no idea how they did it, but I'm guessing there was a foot involved. I had to file a police report for insurance purposes, and for some reason on these police reports they always take my information, name, birthdate, eyecolor,height, weight. Not sure why but, whatever. After my last experience with the police, I just hear them like Charlie Brown's teacher. ANYWAY, the officer was questioning me and then he asked "how much do you think you weigh?". Odd. Why not just ask what I weigh? Why wouldn't he assume I know that. I'm a woman. 99.9% of the women I know can tell you their weight sooner than they can tell you the names of their kids. Ok, most women I know don't actually have kids, but you get it. The really sad part is when he asked that question, I almost replied I THINK I weigh 212 lbs., but I was good and answered 175 (could have told him ounces too, but didn't figure it was pertinent). I don't know it just struck me as an odd question, to which the honest answer was easier than the real answer.

OK, I'm ending my rambling soon I promise. Last night's dinner was onions and peppers, fried with potatoes, and pink beans. I. LOVE. PINK BEANS! I've never had them before, but I just wanted some more protien so I threw a can of them in the pot. UH, maze ING! (god why do I talk like a 13 year old girl? Oh yeah, in my mind I'm still a 13 year old girl). You must try pink beans! They are sweet and creamy, and don't have that weird bean texture. Tryyyy it! You'll like it!

That's it for now.

(22 comments)

19 October 2014

Such a busy week! Had a great day Thursday with the girlfriend. Went to a farm in Amish-land that grows 300 types of squash. I wanted to buy one of each! I ended up with a sweet meat, a festival, sweet dumpling, speckled hound, one too many, survivor, Yugoslavian finger, and a confetti. I can't wait to try them! The survivor and the one too many we got to carve into jack o lanterns, but I'm going to save the seeds and the cut outs to cook. It was such a nice day.

Today I've been working on Halloween decorations for my yard. I've made ghosts for my trees, and bodies in body bags. Bought some small tombstones from the dollar store and a couple of window decorations. I hope it looks as awesome as it does in my head.

I learned something interesting yesterday. I used refined coconut oil in my coffee, and I BINGED! I was starving all day. Today I went back to my unrefined and I am completely fine. There must be something in the unrefined that keeps my stomach satisfied.

Haven't gone to the doctor yet about my dizziness. It has been better. I still intend to go, I just haven't wanted to go and sit in that waiting room for an hour. Did read something the other day "One disease, long life. No disease, short life". Translation don't neglect your health. I guess the universe is telling me to get checked out by my Dr.

(12 comments)

15 October 2014

Definitely eating less with the coconut oil coffee and by doing 16:8. Weight is coming off crazy fast. Keeping waiting for it to plateau or start going back up. I haven't changed anything but those two things. Pretty exciting stuff that.

Weigh-in: 175.6 lb

lost so far: 38.4 lb

still to go: 35.6 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

(8 comments) losing 2.3 lb a week

14 October 2014

I've been doing so well! I've been remembering to pack a lunch. I've taken lentil soup, homemade chili, and today was a sauerkraut and orange pepper sandwich. I need to go shopping, but it was surprisingly tasty. I've been experimenting with my coffee. I tried adding soy lethecin as an emulsifier, it tasted verry soy. Today I sprinkled dark cocoa in and it was pretty tasty.

The last couple of days I've been having spells, for lack of a better word. When I stand up from a crouched position, which I do multiple times a day at work, things start to go dark and fainty. I'm not fond of this new development.

(10 comments)

12 October 2014

My body is so weird. Up and down, up and down, then nothing for a long time, then up and down. Hopefully this down sticks!

I've really just been too busy to eat. Obviously I've been eating enough to sustain me, but no real binges the last few days. I've also started putting coconut oil and almond milk in my morning coffee. I'm thinking almond joy, but it's more mmm greasy lips. I really wish I could figure out a way to get the oil to emulsify instead of just floating in creepy blobs on the top of my coffee. Anyway, I think it has definitely helped. I'm not starving throughout the morning.

I still see my body as fat. My last pair of jeans was a size 10 which is a reasonable size! I'm big boned so I'm never, EVER gonna be a size 2. I am lucky that my body weight is pretty evenly distributed. I guess I'm an hourglass. I'm 5'5" and now I'm at 177. In my head that is HUGE! I started at 214 so now I've lost 37 lbs. I see pictures of myself from my parent's 50th anniversary which was 2 1/2 years ago and I am sooo fat, but I still see myself like that in the mirror. I mentioned in another journal wanting to look cute for Christmas parties, and I started looking online at dresses, but everyone I liked I just thought, oh I can't show my flabby arms in that one, or oh my legs are just too fat and I would look terrible. It's so FRUSTRATING!!! I want to be comfortable in my body. I want to look at myself in a dress and think oh I look pretty.

Just at a random chance I was watching a YouTube video on how to set a pumpkin on fire, and the ad they showed before it was by Dove soap on legacies women give to their daughters. My Mom definitely passed hers on to me, and I'm afraid I'm doing it to my daughter. You should Google this ad. It's eye opening. They had the women make a list of everything they didn't and did like about their bodies. Then they had the women's daughters do the same. These little girls were about 7. The lists matched almost perfectly. WHY DOES A 7 YEAR OLD GIRL HATE HER ARM OR HER BUTT??? I need to just start telling myself I look good and maybe I will start believing it.

Weigh-in: 176.6 lb

lost so far: 37.4 lb

still to go: 36.6 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

(22 comments) losing 6.1 lb a week

Instantcrazy's weight history

view complete history