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24 October 2010

My eating is disordered and my boyfriend is stressing out about it. I wish I could talk to him, but his face just tightens and he gets frustrated, so I have to tell him to forget it. Anyway, he makes me semi-relax around eating, and it carried over the weekend. Had a pizza, though very thin base with half cheese, and a scoop of Ben & Jerrys. He makes me think that's ok, but it isn't. Eating his stuff just brings out my IBS and I've been suffering today. Tried to get back on track, by eating healthy stuff, which I pretty much achieved - but there was way too much of it. So an odd weekend. Need to reduce to my intake of 800 and try and keep that above 500 a day. Tomorrow is going to be a struggle. I made a big batch of veggie soup, that i was going to turn into a curry for tomorrow and use up some of my food (things aren't helped by my food hoarding tendencies!) but I'm planning on having a liquids day, to help get this food out of me. I just feel so bloated and flabby. On the plus side, I slipped into a size 8 (US size 2) running shorts while trying them on (I was expecting a struggle!) so got some new kit - they were on sale and have given me a boost to get back to the gym. I'm on reading week next week, with two essays to complete, so think the gym will give me a good buzz in the morning and hopefully clear my mind for study the rest of the day. It's so cold here (Scotland), but the sky was so blue and bright that I was in such a good mood, despite the pizza, Traff night and night out on Wednesday. Hopefully it will be good tomorrow, for walking into uni. I've been loving all the walking to do, but need to get some running in there, to help melt away this thigh fat.
I have the worst craving for cake. It's continuous and hellish. I've been trying to find things that will take the craving away. So far, bananas work well. I got some Ryvitas (dark rye crispbread style things...I wanted the ones with currants in, but I couldn't justify the extra cals/sugar - bet they're sooo yummy!) that are 36 calories a go, and you can put jam (sugar free, naturally) on and dunk in tea like biscuits. Hoping that will see me nicely through the week ahead, where snacking could attack. I had some for my tea with grated carrot and houmous, and that was lovely. Been looking up some recipes and they're pretty versatile, should anyone be craving something carby and crunchy. On a final note, have noticed that my sugar intake has been way too high. I'm guessing this is because of so much fruit and then carb binges, so hopefully a little extra protein might help this.
I also found out that a UK variety of Starbucks Skinny Muffin has 404 calories in it - do not go for the Stem Ginger flavour, it's way too sweet and has nearly the same energy as a normal muffin from there. It made me feel really woozy and strange, probs a sugar high :(

21 October 2010

So had a really heavy night last night, of alcohol, fast food and sweets. Not a good intake total. Spent today trying to take in a lot of fluids and just feel a little more in control. Did some marching (I'm in the University Royal Naval Unit) which was fun. However, I have an indulgent night ahead tomorrow, for our Trafalgar night celebrations - 4 course meal, cheese, free wine and lots of alcohol. Can't believe how those calories mount up! But going to stick to the veggies and a little protein, avoid carbs and sugar and not have wine - just the toasts. I felt really low and grumpy today from my bad diet yesterday and I don't want that to happen again, it just isn't worth it.
Got a busy day tomorrow. I'm glad I am getting all this walking in, but I have a reading week next week, so can finally regain my gym habit - things have been so up in the air since coming to university, I haven't had much energy to go. Got my pilates yoga mat with me, so going to get some core work in tomorrow and over the weekend - losing my body tone :(
Not weighed in for quite a while, so my weight is an unknown - I can only give the last one, from about 2 to 3 weeks ago. Will be interesting to find out when I do finally find some scales!

18 October 2010

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