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27 September 2008

24 September 2008

Today was rough. I was plagued with hunger all day. Not ravenous, just hungry. I was also very stressed, bored and tired trying to focus on a very tedious assignment at work. I was so sleepy that I counted the minutes until I could go home. Pure torture! Did not have energy to make it to gym today. Will shoot for tomorrow. Very tempted to order pizza, wings or a sub, but I really like how loose my clothes as starting to fit and I really like how my swollen ankles have been normal size over the last 4 days for the first time in a LONG time. I will not eat another frozen dinner today because I have to watch my sodium intake. I don't want anything with carbs because that will trigger intense carb-cravings. I just hope to go to sleep and stay asleep having consumed less than 1500 calories today, which is no small feat given I haven't eaten dinner and I'm still hungry.

23 September 2008

22 September 2008

I'm losing weight very slowly, but I'm not discouraged because I am eating in a much more controlled fashion. This is HUGE progress for me not to be dismayed because I didn't do things perfectly at a meal or for an entire day. Now, thanks to this website I look forward to starting again at the next meal or the next day. This is a FIRST for me: it was always ALL or NOTHING. I don't beat myself up when I can't get to the gym. Instead I am using this process to learn about me and what my body needs to function. I am mostly an emotional eater, so in the past, it was not normal for me to feel hunger pains so frequently, because I more than likely ate not long ago to fill some emotional emptiness. Now, I'm feeling legitimate hunger pains and I have to respond to it even if it exceeds my calorie goals for that meal or that day. If I get too hungry, I'll just make a ton of horrible choices and REALLY feel guilty. Now, I'm learning which foods keep me satisfied at specific times of the day. Technically, I was just recently diagnosed as a diabetic (blood sugar slightly above the diagnosis threshold), so that could be why I'm experiencing hunger in ways I haven't before. But, I'm not going to give into this disease (ex. I'm not taking meds right now) and I'm living as though I don't have it so I can focus on losing weight and exercising which is what I will need to be free from it. I don't recommend this approach to anyone, it's just what I decided to do. I have so many problems in life right now, diabetes is the last one I need. If I don't make decent progress over the next 3 months, then I will allow myself to go on meds. It's a serious disease and I have to recognize that and treat it accordingly.

22 September 2008

Weigh-in: 329.0 lb lost so far: 2.0 lb still to go: 199.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment losing 1.6 lb a week

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