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Weight History
showing entries 6 to 10 of 11
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27 July 2010
Today has been an extremely weird day for me. I have had numerous cravings today and I'm not sure exactly why. But I think I have some idea. The only way to describe my mood today is just agitated. Extremely irritable about my food plan. I love it and I hate it. I don't like the fact that I can't control it. The guidelines of the food plan are set the way they are for a reason. I have to make a decision to accept them the way they are or choose a different food plan. I know that this food plan is what I need and I am just fighting it. I'm extremely pissed off! I think its ridiculous that I have to weigh and measure every item. I don't like the fact that I have to email it to my sponsor! I'm a grown woman for Christs sake. The reasons I have to do this...... well I have done my own food plan in the past.. and we know how that turned out. IF I COULD DO IT ON MY OWN THEN I WOULDN'T NEED A SPONSOR!WEIGHING AND MEASURING THE FOOD IS JUST TO KEEP ME ACCOUNTABLE TO MYSELF. IT PUTS BOUNDARIES AROUND MY EATING. SO WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT? Absolutely nothing. I don't have to like the structure of this program but I do need to respect it. It is written this way for a reason. Because I have lost the ability to refrain from eating compulsively. I need a program that is going to give me the structure because my disease is very progressed and without some structure I will be binging again with no end in sight. This is not a diet JAMIE!!!!! Get it through your thick head!!! It doesn't matter if you lose 10 or 150 lbs. IT's Not a diet. Success is not measured in this program by the lbs you lose. If so it would be weight watchers!Progress in this program for me is:
refraining from eating compulsively
consistently using a food plan that diminishes cravings for flour and sugar. So that I can get out of the food and on with life.
Having a strong connection with god. Giving up self will and letting him take this from me. It is to big for me and I cannot do it alone. I am powerless over food.
GIVING UP CONTROL.... WITH THE SCALE, THE FOOD, THE REQUIREMENTS OF THE PROGRAM.. AND RELYING ON MY HIGHER POWER TO TAKE IT.
IM AFRAID TO LET GO OF THE CONTROL!!!! THE CONTROL OF THE SCALE HAS ME UNDER ITS SPELL RIGHT NOW..God please take it from me. I am powerless over the scale. Please take it from me.
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25 July 2010
Weigh-in:
256.0 lb
lost so far:
69.0 lb
still to go:
111.0 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
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losing 34.5 lb a week
24 July 2010
This is the second day following a specific food plan and I feel fantastic! It feels so good to put boundaries around my eating. It is also nice having a sponsor to hold me accountable for what I am eating. At first I was very apprehensive about it but I decided that in order for me to start making progress again I have to get honest and be accountable. I love sending her my food every day and getting to the "meat" of my food addiction by answering the very pertinent questions that were given to me. It feels so good abstaining from sugar and flour. The cravings are slowly going away and I am forever grateful for that.
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11 July 2010
Weigh-in:
325.0 lb
lost so far:
0 lb
still to go:
180.0 lb
Diet followed N/A
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11 July 2010
Weigh-in:
325.0 lb
lost so far:
0 lb
still to go:
180.0 lb
Diet followed N/A
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