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09 September 2016

Evening everyone,

I’m a little out of sorts today. Or I should say I have been all day. So I guess I’m in what they call a lapse. I allowed frustration, pain and hormones to take over and I overate. I was out of sorts yesterday because it was the first day of cycle time (ya know girl time) and my day was just blah. So I ate what I had planned on paper but didn’t add the extras to fill out my meals like veg and fruit because I wasn’t very hungry. Which meant I was super hungry today. Especially after the workout Karen and i had. I got permission to use our complex’s gym during off hours and this morning we did about 30 mins…30 WHOLE MINS! Of working out on the weight machines, the elypticl and the stationery bike….Man!

The Elypticle, I thought was going to kill me at first. I’d never used one before and getting used to that motion was a trip. I’ve used stair climbers and that machine Tony Little used to promote before. My sister had one and I can’t think of it now. It’s like a ski machine but not quite. Oh..The Gazelle. So this Elypticle is gonna take some getting used to. About four mins in, I had the hang of the movements, but I was sucking air like a vaccuum cleaner and could only do one more min before I passed out.

The weight machines were allot more strenuous than I expected even on settings like 10 and 20 lbs. So this girl was soare when I got home. Which made me grouchy. On top of that, I hadn’t planned my food for today so I was flying by the seat of my refrigerator. Big mistake.

(big sigh) so, I am officially recording this lapse and officially ending it right now. I’m gonna plan tomorrows menu right now and the exercise is already planned. I’m walking no matter how much my shoulders, neck and back hurts. The only thing that will stop me is if Karen decides she’s too sore. Then I’m recumbent biking it.

Oh, I’m just disgusted with myself right now. I had way too many fat grams and went over my calorie count by 153 cals. Ugh!

Okay. I’m calming down. Got a menu to plan.

Blessings all

P.s. Please forgive the rant. I needed to get it off my chest and my cat is tired of hearing it, I’m sure. Tomorrow will be a better day cause this too, shall pass.

(2 comments)

07 September 2016

today was an emotional day. did great for weigh in losing 6.4 lbs! Way beyond anything i was expecting. Even my vitals were good.

But the first therapy session was tough in a way i didn't expect. What i was so worried about was how i would be received. I shouldn't have worried though. My therapist is a cool person and very good. She reminds me a lot of the author of that book i just read...Ira Something...oh Lord. anyway, the book was "Regaining Your Self". she is personable and it was not like talking to "a shrink" at all but someone who could be a friend. anyway, still i got very emotional and more water works. but she explained that to me...why i get like that and said there's things we could do to help. so, i signed on. This has been going on too long now and i'm tired.

I also found out my insurance has covered my medical at Sparrow and i just have my co-pays to take care of. Great news since i'm already dealing with some past medical stuff. But i no longer have to pay out of pocket for the products i use up front.

Eating went well today. I stuck to my plan and i planned for chaos today. It got a little shaky at Subway because it was after the Dr. Apt. But i gave myself the pep talk before going in and i gave myself the instructions...you know the ones a Momma gives her kids before they go into the store about behaving and not asking for everything under the sun cause "this" is what we're here for. and i was a good girl.

so like i said e-mo-tional-al. but i survived. and now after some sleep and some contemplating, i think I'm gonna be okay. Dr. says we have allot of work to do.. I had to laugh at that. she ain't just whistling dixie! (old bugs bunny quote).

hope everyone is thriving and well. Peace and love

Oh, Dr. has the coolest Collie pup named Spencer. he came right up to me in the waiting room and didn't bark or freak out about my white cane. Most dogs don't like my cane at all and they go crazy. Spencer was cool and friendly. He's adorable. very well behaved pup. I love dogs.

Weigh-in: 391.0 lb

lost so far: 6.4 lb

still to go: 41.0 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

(8 comments) losing 5.0 lb a week

06 September 2016

Hi Guys and dolls,

I trust that everybody had a great Labor Day. Mine was quiet which is just how I like it. No BBQ aromas around the complex to haunt me. Seems everyone celebrated on Saturday or Sunday. Yea!

Tomorrow is weigh in day. I’m a little nervous but not overly so. I think I did reasonably well. I could improve on the number of days of exercise, but I’m proud of what I do when I do exercise. This morning I actually added some distance and found that I am walking allot faster because the time was very close to what I’ve done before. But I realize I really need to do something everyday barring major pain and injury. I didn’t walk yesterday and didn’t do any strength training on Sunday so I felt it today in my hip bones and back. Don’t like that. So gonna fix it as best I can anyway. (smile)

Tomorrow is also my first appointment with a new therapist. She was recommended by Richard, the behavioralist at sparrow weight Management. This I am very nervous about. I’ve been in therapy before with varying results. I never know how to get the whole thing off the ground. I always feel like I’m wining when I do this even though I know I could really use the help. When it was very crucial when I was younger, well I guess I could manage it even though it was ackward, but now that I’m older and things aren’t so acute, I just feel weird about the whole thing. It is a condition of getting clearance for surgery and like I said I still can use the help. Reminds me of years ago when I first read “the Courage to Heal” by ellen Bass and her co-author, Laura B. (can’t remember her last mane at the moment). They talked about how dealing with your issues is like peeling an onion. There’s just all these layers and even after you think you’ve got it handled, there’s still more stuff that comes up…another layer to peel. (heavy sigh) I experienced that in richard’s office. There we were talking and then all of a sudden…water works. Eeeep! I was so embarrassed. So much for calm, cool and collected. More like hysterical, hot and harried.

So, wish me luck tomorrow with the new Dr. Richard highly recommends her and thinks we’ll get along just peachy like. (heavy sigh) I hope so. I remember the reception I got from my very first therapist when I was about 22. Oh my God, can you say “oil and water”. More so on her part than mine cause I never knew why she didn’t like me, but it started the very first meeting. Must have been loathing at first sight. I’d speculate, but what’s the point.

Gotta go plan my food day for tomorrow, ya’ll. Peace and love.

(3 comments)

04 September 2016

Morning, FS.

Hope everyone is well. I’m feeling pretty crappy today. Not quite sure what’s going on. I’m a little light headed and naucious. It started late yesterday and of course I didn’t sleep well because of it. I’m thinking it’s either sinuses starting to flare up again (it’s really cold here in Lansing) or I’m having insulin vs carb intake issues. So, I’m gonna drink my tea and hold off on morning short acting insulin until breakfast #2 around 9 a.m. and check levels. I only had about 15 g of carbs with breakfast #1 so I’m thinking 150 units of short acting would be overkill. I guess I need to move from preemptive dosing to reactive dosing. And of course I need to talk with Doc about this soon.

I’m kinda bummed though cause today is Karen’s b-day (my sister) and I don’t want to miss it. So I’m hoping my measures work out and I’m feeling better by this afternoon when the festivities begin. I will take it way easy on the eating though. I’ve held back calories for the lunch and will definitely stay within my limits even at Famous Dave’s BBQ joint.

I also need to get my strength training in for today. That’s an hour I’m not looking forward to. Ooops! Wrong attitude…what I meant to say was “and that’s gonna be a good time…”

Have a blessed Day, FS.

(3 comments)

01 September 2016

Hi All,

Today was a relatively good day. I got my walking in and even added some ground to our walking regimen. I moved a little faster today for at least ¾ of the trail. It got a little wobbly towards the end though. I’m still fighting sinus issues but it didn’t get me down today. I just tea’d up and got on with it.

I paid rent today and actually got permission to use the complexe’s workout room during off hours. It was pretty cool, you pay a one time $25 fee and they give you a key. So even though it will be getting colder, Karen and I can work out there. Karen’s my sister and my support person through this whole thing…well, one of them anyway. She helps allot with the visual stuff I can’t figure out. We’ll walk until it’s just too darned cold, but I want to get into that gym. They have an Elypticle and I’m dying to see if I can handle it. There are tread mills, too, but I’m lousy at those.

Eating went pretty well today. I did break down and get myself some pork rinds. What can I say, they’ve been a fav since I was old enough to put hot sauce on ‘em and chew. But I got a small bag and hey, they’ve got 8 grams of protein. Besides, I’m hearing from some of the post bari patients that some foods like meat may give me some issues later. Also, very gummy things like certain breads. Well, pork rinds are very crunchy and not gummy at all. I also tried a meatless sausage from Field roast. Sausages are another fav of mine, but well, can you say “way too fatty”. This one is of course TVP and it was actually pretty good. It had a good meat texture and mouth feel and a really good flavor. I love sage and this was apple sage. I’m going to try the Italian style too. I ate it without bun so I could get a good idea of texture and flavor. But next time, I’m going for the works…well, as much as I can anyway. so not a bad day at all. I’m pretty satisfied with it.

Hope all is well in everyone’s world or at least getting there if it isn’t. I wish you joy.

(2 comments)

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