|
I am still living in backwards world...weight went down cause there was no exercise yesterday. I'm kind of ok with backwards world cause I can handle it if I know it's coming. It was so frustrating to do the right things and not lose the weight. I don't understand why it is the way it is, I just know that it seems to be what it is. I am just happy that I am seeing progress. It seems that cutting out my daily sudafed has helped with my weight...I don't know how that relates or works, but it is the only thing different since I started losing weight. Maybe some odd interaction with another pill that I take.
I do know that the fog has left the building!! I am referring to the sadness/melancholy fog that has been sitting in my head for the last couple of weeks. Yesterday I was driving to the doc to pic up some medication samples (I don't have insurance at all so he gives me samples when he can...I am thankful cause the prescriotion costs $220 at the cheapest place I can find it) and I had the windows down, sun was shining and my hair was blowing everhwere and I realized that I was happy!!!! I laughed out loud for no reason. I'm glad that that me is returning cause I have sure missed her! I'm usually a happy person so these last few weeks with the sadness fog have been horrible...well the most horrible part was my not being able to fight out of it after a day or so like I usually could. I know that that fog comes with depression and I have learned to accept that there are some days that my body just has to be that way cause my brain is too busy doing other things and isn't making the right chemical balance for some reason so I have learned to accept that... don't like it but I have learned to accept it. It usually lasts a day or so unless there is a major reason for me to be upset (like my dog passing) but these last few weeks...actually its been a couple of months...I just haven't been able to drag myself out of the hole that I was in. (If you want to see what depression is like, watch the Abilify commercials...)
So, I will spend my day sourcing stuff for the fathers day project that I have been working on for my brother...wanted to make it all myself, but I can't find a shop to let me cut my own mat board, so I will have to make a trip to the framing store tohave them cut the matte board for me. Thats ok though,it gets me out of the house. My counselor and psuchiatrist like me to leave the house at least once a day if I can...right now that is tempered with the fact that I am unemployed so I can't just drive around for now reason...need to save money, gas and my truck which is acting like it needs a new fuel pump. Too bad that isn't something I could change on my own (I checked) cause I sure have all this time on my hands where I don't really need my truck...lol.
Well, off to start my saturday...got some research to do...
j
|
157.6 lb
Lost so far: 0 lb.
Still to go: 17.6 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
|
losing 5.6 lb a week
|