Tell Me What You See
A few days after my Mother's surgery the doctors told us she was very sick. My family didn't want to accept this at the time so we took all steps possible to save her. As the days passed, our hearts knew she fought the fight and was too tired to continue. We didn't what her to leave, but didn't want her to suffer any longer.
Saturday, November 13, 1999 in my home with my 2 month old daughter Mary I held private ceremony with candlelight, incense & song. I asked God to please gently take my Mother. I was not with my Mother physically that day, but was to be with her spiritually. All day long feeling I was standing in a sandstorm of tiny energy particles, the sensation similar to the way your hair stands up on end when emotionally charged by music, a touching movie or special event.
Dad sent my 3 sisters and Aunt home a few hours earlier that day. Upon his request they all went to their homes except for my dear friend Carla who stayed with Daddy and Mother until she took her last precious breath.
The phone rang around 7:20 that evening. My Fathers voice telling me, "It's finally over. It took longer then I thought it would. Call and tell everyone." I said okay. Surpisingly, at this very moment I felt warmth around my heart. She is gone and I knew at that very moment my life would never be the same.
An hour or so later, I heard knocking on my front door. I was surprised it was Carla. It was a long day for all of us and I assumed she would have gone straight to her home. I was happy to see her until I read that black T-shirt with white lettering reading, "GET OVER IT". At first I was shocked... why would she wear that shirt at a time like this? What was she thinking? Had anyone noticed?
Carla sat down and I decided to ask her about the T-shirt. She couldn't believe her eyes either. She said, "You know I hadn't noticed. When I was at the hospital I believe I had it covered with a light jacket. I suppose nobody saw it".
She explained to me that she was running late for work and had asked her friend Theresa to throw some casual clothing into her car for a date she had plans for that evening. When she received the call from me at her work telling her how desperate Mothers situation was, she immediately put the change of clothes on never noticing the shirt she had worn. She drove approximately 150 miles to be with my Mother and family.
We looked at each other and both laughed out loud agreeing this was the sense of humor of my Mother! Carla and I started talking about the upcoming holidays. We knew Mom enjoyed the holidays and would want us to keep tradition as much as possible. As we were discussing this, my baby became quite irritable and fussy. Our conversation became difficult almost impossible. After several minutes of this distracted conversation Carla looked at me and said, "Lisa, she would probably calm down but you need to be quiet." I didn't pay much attention and kept trying to talk. All the while the baby was getting more agitated. All of the sudden I was drawn into Carla's eyes as if I fell into them and at the moment the baby was completely quiet.
"Are you ready to listen?" Carla's voice said.
Completely understanding what was happening I said, "Mom...is that you?" I asked knowing the answer was yes before she answered. I wanted to grab a pen and paper to write down our conversation word for word but there wasn't going to be time for that. Touching my forehead, eyes and voice said, "it is time for me to go". I knew I was given the gift of saying goodby to my mother. A child can recognize love of the Mother by way of her eyes. What I experienced was beyond reasoning of this world but I knew these were precious moments ensuring me that love never dies and this knowledge is engraved in my heart forever.
Tell me what you see
John Lennon - Paul McCartney
If you let me take your heart
I will prove to you
We will never be apart
If I'm part of you
Open up your eyes now
Tell me what you see
Is it no surprise now
What you see is me
Big and Black the clouds may be
Time will pass away
If you put your trust in me
I'll make bright your day
Look into my eyes now
Tell me what you see
Don't you realize now
What you see is me
Tell me what you see
Listen to me one more time
How can I get through
Can't you try to see that I'm
Trying to get to you
Open up your eyes now
tell me what you see
Is it no surprise now
What you see is me
Tell me what you see
TOWANDA!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
150.0 lb
Lost so far: 43.0 lb.
Still to go: 15.0 lb.
Diet followed 100%.
|
Diet Calendar Entry for 13 November 2010:
|
1865 kcal
|
Fat: 35.00g | Prot: 56.50g | Carb: 353.74g.
Breakfast: apple, kashi nut roll. Lunch: persimmon. Dinner: kraft macaroni and cheese, ham and cheese sandwich. Snacks/Other: Fiber Bar, starbucks caramel. more...
|
steady weight
|
![](https://m.ftscrt.com/static/images/box/membersicon.gif) Comments
This brought tears to my eyes!! you have a beautiful way of looking at the world!! thank YOU!!
13 Nov 10 by member: amy1flite
|
13 Nov 10 by member: chattycathy1955
|
Could't help it. Tears are streaminig down. The hair on the back of my neck is standing up too. You're awesome. Hugs
13 Nov 10 by member: Cindy Thompson
|
You are very blessed. May your mother ever be with you in the gentlest ways and may her love bless your holidays and all the days following. (((Hugs.)))
13 Nov 10 by member: Johanne
|
Beautiful! I was missing my Gram. Her 92 birthday would have been 11/11, she passed 6 yrs ago. Your journal was comforting.
13 Nov 10 by member: angelheart712
|
"The person who is not forgotten never dies." - a saying of my own mother's ("A el que no se le olvida nunca muere.")
13 Nov 10 by member: information
|
Oh Lisa that gave me chills, good chills. Thank you for sharing this. :)
13 Nov 10 by member: pixidaisy
|
Lisa, our loved ones always find a way to say goodbye, always, even if we are separated by miles. Your mom did, my daughter (who could not even talk) did, my MIL, and my FIL...all found a way to say goodbye. You were blessed that it came in the form that it did. Thank you so much for sharing, and I hope that your holidays will be blessed by her presence.
13 Nov 10 by member: ctlss
|
Wow, Lisa, that is amazing. Mr Coco had a similar thing happen to him when his father was very ill post-surgery in the hospital a few miles from our home. Mr Coco was taking a break from the hospital and was sitting in our living room alone. He said out loud "Daddy, are you going to make it?" And he clearly heard his father's voice speak out loud in the room, "No son, I don't think I can." His dad passed away the next day. Thank you for this beautiful story about your Mom. :)
13 Nov 10 by member: cocobutt
|
Thank you very much for sharing this...It profoundly touched my heart.
14 Nov 10 by member: lotus2009
|
|
|
|
|
Submit a Comment
You must sign in to submit a comment
|
|
|
Other Related Links
Members
|
Lisa Online's weight history
|