WisteriaSky233's Journal, 30 June 2024

It may seem like loneliness now but you can change the perception from loneliness to independence. It will take time to find yourself again, be patient and give yourself grace. 

Errands are great for mental health. WisteriaSky, your great smile absolutely uplifts people! You spread positivity. Hope you can enjoy that giving & feel the recipocrocity (despite being in a tough chapter in your life).  

@Sternfan Feeling so many things. And now I am just trying to bottled it up. I feel like at some point I will send a letter with my feelings. Everything it too raw now. @HealthyNow Yes, it helped a little. But songs made me cry. Back home with my misery and thoughts. I appreciate the kind words. I'm struggling to accept what happened. What hope I had is gone. And granted I don't want to go back to my marriage but part of me wonders if that misery would have been easier in the long run than this loneliness.  

Change is so stressful, even positive change stresses us. And you have had SO much change in your life is such a short amount of time. Try to focus on the positive. Hugs coming your way! 

You are in the depths of it right now and I have been there and know and feel for you. I couldn’t listen to music for a long time so I would just listen to NPR in the car (which I still do now from time to time). No need to send a letter with your feelings. It would serve you best to not bottle up your feelings and get them out via journaling, writing helps you get it out. Also when you are raw it’s the best time to be artistic believe it or not, it’s another way to let it out. I took up painting, painting my feelings. It was cathartic to say the least. I actually still paint to this day but I tend to follow along with a YouTube and not be so abstract with it. 

I enjoy being by myself. If you have the right company, that could be nice. But alone time is peaceful for me. Big hugs to you. Hang in there. 

What might help you in your recovery; is to write it down on paper; take however long you need to express your feelings, cry as you are doing it, then when done; take it and seal it in an envelope and put it out of sight for a bit, then once you find it you’ll remember what it is; then you can find either a way to burn it or shred it. Just remember you can do anything you put your mind too. 

Loneliness is our default or base condition. It shouldn’t be seen as abnormal. Having friends and family is the extraordinary condition. A little re-framing should help you.