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I don't seem to cry anymore. My life has been rough. I haven't had it easy. Its been down right hard. You know the saying what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Well I could bench press a hummer. This morning something bad happened. Not life shattering bad, just scream, yell, cry or punch a wall kinda bad. It's a set back. Financially it just killed me for maybe the whole summer. Only it didn't make me cry. I really am not even that upset. It's my own fault for not taking care of my business in timely manner. I am the queen of procrastination. Still, there was a time I would cry. I would feel sorry for myself. I would hate my life, but I don't. I could stress about how I am going to make things right or have anxieties about all the things that could go wrong if this does not get resolved, but I can't. I am not capable of crying or getting mad or even stressing out about this situation. I will fix it and everything will be fine. Should have taken care of it earlier and I would not be here now. That's my bad but I can fix it. I wonder if this is a sense of maturity or am I just so tainted that I don't feel anything anymore. It could be worse. I know people that have it worse. Compared to them this is nothing. Curiouser and Curiouser I don't know what this means.
Diet Calendar Entries for 11 April 2018:
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1664 kcal
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Fat: 70.95g | Prot: 73.52g | Carb: 180.15g.
Breakfast: Coffee with Cream and Sugar. Lunch: Poppy Seed Dressing, Wegmans Special Blends Apple Pomegranate Salad Kit, Wegmans Formaggio Pizza, Potato Chips, Wegmans Roast Beef Sub (Medium). Dinner: Wegmans Danny's Favorite Sub. Snacks/Other: Wegmans Famous Chocolate Chip Mini Cookies. more...
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3878 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Resting - 16 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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 Comments
be encouraged. sorry life sucks sometimes. make the best of your situation.
11 Apr 18 by member: marshakanady
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Please don't take this as an insult - I freely admit right now for the sake of full disclosure that I am in the care of a psychiatrist, and I firmly believe that there is no shame or stigma in admitting to this. If I had a heart condition or cancer, I'd be just as open about it. If you haven't visited some kind of counselor, you may want to consider doing so... we are not made to walk alone, and I know from personal experience that a lack of feeling is a red flag that something is brewing in the back of my brain... I know when this happens to me, it means a bomb is eventually going to go off in my head, usually with very upsetting consequences for myself and anyone who cares about me. Granted, I have mental health issues, and I am certainly not implying that you do as well - I'm just saying that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, needs a little help sometimes. There are free hotlines and web sites where you can at least get a start on figuring out how to make your life happier. I hope things go better for you soon...
11 Apr 18 by member: FarmerJeannine
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Thank you for the concerns FarmerJeannine, but I am ok. I think my life has just been so hard that this is not as big a deal as I once would have though it to be. I a happy, I am greatfull for everything in my life right now. I have been in a bad place but I am not anymore. This is bad but I am not going to be sad or upset. A few years ago I would have been very upset and let it rock my whole world. I just don't feel like I can let it bother me. It is going to be a tough one to straighten out but nobody died. I am surely going to be broke for most of the summer poof there goes my vacation, but I will have a staycation this year. The glass tipped over but it is still half full. I didn't mean to alarm anyone when I said I can't feel anything I meant just about this situation. I feel like the old me would be crying and upset and telling everyone how bad my life it. Instead I just feel like I will handle this in time and it will be a life lesson learned.
11 Apr 18 by member: Berly1023
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Prayers for you ! Life is full of challenges, some of them seem insurmountable at times, many of us go through rough times -whether we admit it or not, but terrible times do not last forever although it may appear that way to us at the time. Try and convince yourself that just over the other side of that mountain, bridge, or what have you that is standing in the way of your enjoyment in life ---that there are better times, pleasurable times, fun and excitement waiting for you to partake.... We support your endeavors and are rooting for you !!!! While we may not know exactly what your feeling, we hope that your "numbness/hurt" goes away soon. It is a dark place in which you do not want to continue to be---- God Bless.... : )
11 Apr 18 by member: wright2018
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Hey Berly, I hear you. I've lost a lot that I held dear. And your not dealing with something that is now going to cost you echoes some of my experiences. Procrastination is a killer. Generally, things don't just get better. We have to focus on problems and fix them. I like to put it this way: I need to deal with baby dragons when they come along (and they come along pretty much every day), because if I don't, they will grow up and become fire-breathing, and, well, then, the pain and suffering will be really significant. Using that metaphor has gotten me off my butt a number of times. Regarding the other I suspect it's maturity. Anyway, hang in there. Plan to make next year better. Deal with the chaos day by day. Grow, learn, get stronger! All the best.
11 Apr 18 by member: HardDaysKnight
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I apologize for overreacting... you do seem to be taking a positive view of this particular situation - enjoy your staycation... my hubby and I aren't really vacationers and ALWAYS have a staycation! :)
11 Apr 18 by member: FarmerJeannine
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Been there done that with bad financial decisions! Sounds like you have some perspective especially if you know where you went off the rails. Good luck! And I have to say @FarmerJeannine I think it was brave of you to put yourself out there to help another FS buddy!
11 Apr 18 by member: abbadabba
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