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I've dropped the ball. Big time. I even borrowed some new videos from a friend to liven things up a bit. Have I done them? No. I've had them for over a week now. Actually, almost two weeks. Nothing. And eating? I've been eating so much it seems like. I was looking in the mirror last night and noticed a difference in my stomach. Actually seeing a difference is a bad sign that things aren't going the way they should, especially if it's not a good difference. Why is this such a struggle for me? WHY?? Curse these genetically large legs! lol Sorry, Chicken Little moment. Anywho............. I want to do something so bad. The biggest reason that pops out in my head at the moment is that my husband works such a dumb schedule and is home on days I want to work out but I have a strict no-working-out-in-front-of-my-husband-or-anyone-else-for-that-matter policy. Dumbest reason ever, I know. I could totally go for a walk on those days, not even weather permitting. Weather isn't a deterant for me, I like walking in the rain or snow. Summer's coming so fast and June is going to find me with my family again in Colorado and I want to look good. I always feel so embarrassed when I've gained weight since the last time they saw me. Well, I haven't, I look the same, kind of. But still, I want to look good, like obviously good. I want a strong, fit body. I want to run without feeling like I look goofy (my husband says I actually DO look goofy when I run.) Shoot, I want to be able to run PERIOD. I love the feel of running, but not how my lungs burn or my hips hurt or whatever. I love to exercise, love how it makes me feel and know that it really isn't hard or take long. Then why, knowing these things, do I have it in my head that this is something I don't want to do??? I DO want to do it! And if I want the body I know I can have, I need to exercise daily. I have been overweight for 12 stupid years. That's a long time. I hate it. I'm ready to feel better about myself. Time for change. (Notice I'm good with words, but can I "walk the walk"?)
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