NTech's Journal, 12 September 2017

I’ve been up in weight again, but I enjoyed myself for my birthday on Friday, so it’s expected. Ready to focus on it all again. Saturday I walked a 5K plus the mile there and the half mile back. I was so sore for the next few days, especially in my calves and shins. They’re finally starting to feel better. I did a very painful 10,000 steps on Sunday but I had to take a break yesterday and today. As much as I hate getting up early, I think I can go back to walking tomorrow. Maybe even today after work.

I’ve been thinking about the surrogacy. I’m starting to doubt if I can get to the weight I need to be. I’m giving it my all and I’m having so much trouble getting to the maximum allowed weight for my height - 187. Then once I get to that and the agency will start working with me, I’d like to get to 180 since I’m sure my appointment with the fertility clinic won’t be right away in the morning and I want to allow for some wiggle room. If I can’t lose these last few pounds, there’s no way I’m getting to 180. I’m not sure if or when to throw in the towel. I’m going to keep trying for now but I feel like I’ll never get there.

I have another weekend of temptation ahead of me. It’s the town festival where my husband grew up. It’s such a good time and usually involves lots of alcohol, pastries, and greasy food. I’m not going to drink (cue the pregnancy rumors), and I’m ok without the pastries, but pork burgers are so damn good. I’ll probably have to pack my own food, which kind of stinks. But I’ll live.

Some good things – My husband has 3 interviews this week and continues to apply to other jobs, and he’s getting lots of time to work on his homework. It’s nice that he doesn’t have to stress about how to fit in homework time and can spend time with me and the kids when I get home.

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