So I am at my mom's and it is 3:15 am. I woke up cuz my granny (80) had to go to the potty. Let's just say we weren't successful. After doing my best to get her there, clean the mess, get her back to bed, pause to throw up, continue cleaning up, avoid wet carpet on my way back, get in bed and snuggle with my 3 year old who was no comfort to me whatsoever my mind started thinking. So I had to get up to blog it or it will nag at me all night, it may anyway.
My religous beliefs are often questioned since I don't celebrate holidays. So tonight after all this went on, I had a bit of an epiphany (spelling?): In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were given one simple rule as far as what was forbidden. Do not eat from The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Bad. If they didn't they would live FOREVER in paradise and populate the earth by becoming fruitful and filling the earth. Not too much to ask from our heavenly father right? But NOOOOOOOOOO, Eve just had to eat from it and share with Adam. Hence the perfect humans sinned and thus spread sin onto their offspring, which we all are and brings me to my current sleepless night.
Now we must all grow old and die until the end of this system of things. Well I pray that the end comes before I have to be helped unsuccessfully to the bathroom by my granddaughter. I pray that I am never made to feel so small and inadequate that I can't take care of myself properly. I pray that I never lose my mind to senility. I just can't sleep thinking about all this.
So why question my beliefs when I don't make them up, they are in the bible. I am to do Jehovah's will, not my own. I have free will and I choose to serve him faithfully. I realize we are all imperfect humans now and we all sin, me included, but that doesn't give me the right to go against his will if I become disillusioned with other imperfect humans. I am so thankful that Jehovah sent his son to die for us all so that I could live. It is just so sad that he had to in the first place. Can you imagine giving up the life of your child so that other imperfect humans could live? Would they all be greatful, no, not all. Yes some, but not all. They take life for granted. Some don't even acknoledge there is a God who created us. We wouldn't be here without Jehovah God and his son Jesus Christ. So when people question my religious beliefs I can try to show them and reason with them with the scriptures, but what I really want to do is cry and say "How can you not love them with all your heart all your soul."
Sorry for the rant, preaching whatever you may call it if you read this, but I just couldn't sleep without sharing how my heart is feeling tonight.
Diet Calendar Entries for 21 January 2010:
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1200 kcal
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Fat: 29.85g | Prot: 106.38g | Carb: 131.64g.
Breakfast: water, sugar free syrup, oatmeal. Lunch: dr. pepper, Karen's Lemon Chicken. Dinner: part skim mozzarella cheese, instant brown rice success and rice, Karen's Lemon Chicken, macaroni and cheese, leseur peas, carrots great value, Chicken Parmesean. Snacks/Other: water, dreyer's dib, sugar free blueberry flavored cake, lemon juice great value, activia raspberry, water. more...
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2181 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Running (jogging) - 5/mph - 9 minutes, Walking (brisk) - 4/mph - 11 minutes, Pilates - 45 minutes, Housework - 4 hours, Sitting - 8 hours and 55 minutes, Resting - 7 hours, Sleeping - 3 hours. more...
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