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I used to blame my problem on everyone but myself. Why I could never find a good person to be in a relationship with, and why I was so heavy. Well let me just tell you that I'm 5'2 and I weigh about 277 pounds, my BMI is over 50 and this is a serious problem. I know most people who would write about losing weight does it after they've reached their goal weight and they tell you how it was so hard but they pushed through it. Well let me start by saying that I am not going to do that! I am going to complain and want to quit 10232489329289240 times. My wish is that I will find the motivation to continue. A friend of mine just gave me a copy of "insanity", and if you don't know what that is, well let me just tell you that it is INSANE!! I plan to start doing the workouts when I wake up later.
I am a woman of 1000 excuses: I'm tired, I have a headache, it's too expensive, I don't feel well, I have something more important to do. But honestly what could be more important than taking care of my body?? I'm always the first person to take care of a friend or a family member, I put everyone else first and I would give the shirt off my back to a stranger without a second thought. And don't go thinking that I give in to people or I'm too nice because I promise you I am NOT too nice. If I don't like you I will let you know or just ignore you. I think that I've been doing that to myself. I've been ignoring myself because I don't like me.
Well there's a new one for you a fat girl doesn't like herself. And yes I am FAT! I am not big boned, I am not chubby or thick I am not any of those other words that people use to describe fat people so they don't offend them. I am offended every time I look in the mirror. I hate how I look and I say that I would do anything it takes not to look this way anymore.. and then I do. I eat more. Yep cause that is going to solve the problem right? WRONG!! And I know that. I know how to lose weight. Exercise and eat the correct food. Don't eat food loaded with sugar and tons of fat. Red meat isn't really good for you neither is whole milk. Broccoli is amazing for you (and it tastes great, sorry for those of you who don't like it, but I'm sure there's food that you like that I don't). Exercise everyday.. It's not a hard concept to grasp really.. but it seems like it's such a hard thing to do.. why?
Because we all want immediate results. By the end of the first week we want to be at our goal weight and we want to be in shape half way through our first exercise so when we're done we're not out of shape and we feel amazing..
NEWSFLASH!!!
How long did it take you to put the weight on?? 1 day? 2? No I didn't think so. It's going to take some time to take it off then huh? And I know that this is going to be hard to do.. but lets not look at the scale every single day. (I heard its good once to do that, look at the scale everyday, that way if your weight is constantly going up for a few days in a row you know that you are doing something wrong) But focus on how you feel. Can you spend a longer time on the stair climber, or elliptical? Can you do more reps on the weight machines? Swim more laps in the same amount of time? Walk the dog around the block just one more time because the first lap took such a short time and you feel like you still want to walk a little more?
That is what we should be focusing on.. how we feel. Yes, the weight is important too. You should strive to be at a healthy weight, but how you feel inside and out, how you look at yourself in the mirror. These are the things that we should be focusing on. Stressing ourselves out over a number cannot be good for us.
So my current goal is to:
-update everyday
-do insanity everyday
-eat better and not as much (because I sometimes have a problem of over eating..)
-look ahead into the mirror and not down at a scale everyday
-food journal EVERYDAY!!
-pop will be eliminated from my diet yes, even diet pop, by the end of the weekend
Diet Calendar Entry for 06 January 2012:
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1063 kcal
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Fat: 52.24g | Prot: 52.27g | Carb: 97.45g.
Lunch: Diet Pepsi (20 oz Bottle), ramen noodles chicken. Dinner: italian sub, Italian Salad Dressing (Fat Free). more...
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