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I manage to maintain my current weight (52kg). I know I'm doing it quite well but I'm so tired of anything about losing weight and looking good.
Last Saturday, I had a very strong craving for big fat chips like Nando's peri-peri chips and Grill'd herbed chips. I love chips but I couldn't eat them. I went out to party with one of my girl friends. Before meeting her up, I went crazy and hit maccas to get a small fries. After partying, I had a large fries and then a small fries at maccas. Wow! Too much fatty fries. I knew I shouldn't have them but I felt very very very happy when the fries were inside my mouth. I don't know how to describe the feeling. It was like when fasting refugees seeing a bunch of yummy food in front of them. haha!
Gah, I'm back to my must-control-what-you-eat-and-go-move-your-lazy-bum day. I feel so tired. I had my breakfast, cleaned my room, played keyboard, read manga, had a very light dinner (cheesy tofu omelette) and skipped. T_________T I did all these just as to make myself busy like distract myself from thinking about food. Now, I feel like eating before I go to the bed. I'm not really hungry but I feel like having something to warm my stomach. 10 minutes ago, I went to the kitchen, looked around and told myself "no, curb the craving. you are not hungry" and headed back to my room.
I'm so upset. Why can't I eat what I want even if they are very fattening? Sometimes, I want to eat pizza/burger but I'm so scared of gaining back those weight that I have lost so I shrug the thought off. Le sigh.
Well, probably I'm having a mood swing and I know I will be happy when i reach my goal. 2010 will be good. = ]
Oh btw, I'm so gonna eat my big fat chips tomorrow. Thinking about this, I'm happy! Nom nom nom.
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