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I just re-read my journal from yesterday ... I must admit I have not been terribly successful at being kind and gentle with myself. This morning I am feeling cow like. MOO!!! I think it is more than the holiday gain that has me feeling funky. It is the anticipation of the radiation that is about to begin for my husband. He is feeling anxious and I feel it too. The hotflashes continue to interrupt my sleep. I know that plays a part. I am working on reframing my thoughts today and remembering how far I have come. I know this is just temporary and that I will feel like myself again here soon. I must practice that kindness and gentleness and pay attention to myself.
I did well yesterday with eating until the evening when I indulged in more datenut bread. I threw the rest of it into the trash compactor this morning!! Still, I was quite active yesterday and I know that I burned more than I consumed ... and the slight increase this morning is due most likely to increased exercise and the damn sodium in the 2 al fresco tacos I had at Taco Bell yesterday with hubby. So I didn't record the slight increase. Tomorrow's weigh in will hopefully be more favorable.
So I will drink plenty of water today, eat my "normal" foods, and REMEMBER ... I am okay!!!
So let me think of five things I am grateful for today ... that always helps me focus ...
1. I realize that how I "feel" isn't necessarily reality
2. this place ... fatsecret ... where I can say what is on my mind, examine myself, and receive incredibly helpful support from others who know EXACTLY what I am going through
3. maintaining BELOW 200 pounds for months now!!
4. feeling my body get stronger as I continue to move it!!
5. getting rid of the holiday garbage
So on I go ... into another day ... feeling a little "off" but knowing that life is good and that I must resist those old feelings of failure because they are not REAL. This is the rest of my life, one day at a time, with ups and downs and I will never be "done." I want to be "done"!!! LOL!!! Acceptance. Embrace the moment.
Diet Calendar Entries for 28 December 2009:
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1259 kcal
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Fat: 32.94g | Prot: 71.68g | Carb: 185.39g.
Breakfast: medifast cocoa, Fiber One, water. Lunch: Sargento Swiss Cheese, Eating Right Yogurt, white turkey meat, Whole Wheat Sandwich Thins. Dinner: Healthy Choice Turkey Medallions. Snacks/Other: Pirate's Booty, Eating Right Apricot Chewy Bar, Snickers Marathon Dark Chocolate Crunch. more...
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2983 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Shopping - 3 hours, Pilates - 50 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 3 hours and 10 minutes, Desk Work - 4 hours, Driving - 5 hours. more...
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 Comments
You are doing WONDERFUL!! I know it's easy to get down on yourself (you've been reading my journal, I'm down on myself every other day), but I think I have come up with a good analogy. This journey is a part of our lives now, and every day of our lives isn't perfect, we don't give up and hide under the bed. We accept it and keep moving. Same thing with this. Just keep your head up and smile. I'm sure you'll continue maintaining and losing soon :)
28 Dec 09 by member: alllicat
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You absolutely are ok. Part of having the range is sometimes being at the top of it, but you will be back down below the blue line soon enough. And then you can start thinking about a new range!
28 Dec 09 by member: erikag
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I was just thinking this morning how wonderful it was that you have been under 200 for a while now. And then you write about it in your 5. Great minds think alike. :) I love your journals very much. You keep everything into perspective for yourself and others.
28 Dec 09 by member: Deana Garcia
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"Getting rid of the holiday garbage" That's what I must do. Kudos on staying under that 200 mark! :)
28 Dec 09 by member: mbhpro
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Thank you ladies!! Do you want to know a cure for funk? I bought some new boots. Yes, I did get a new pair for Christmas but they are high-heeled going out on the town boots. Famous Footwear was having a buy one pair get the second half off and I must confess ... I went just a little crazy!! See what happens when you have too much time on your hands? LOL!!!
28 Dec 09 by member: madaboutmoose
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You will be back to your oldself soon. We all get into these funks. I like that word better than depression which is what I call it for me but funk sounds way better. I love boot shoppng and 2 pairs that's great. I went shopping today too but the weather and driving was horrendous so it was more of a stressful outing.
28 Dec 09 by member: chattycathy1955
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Glad you got some retail therapy today! Sleep interruption by hot flashes and stress about radiation would tarnish anyone's glitter. But you always seem to find a way to get your shine back on. That's why I love knowing you through your journals. :)
28 Dec 09 by member: amryk
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Back in the funk I see. Good to know you are human, and I am not the only one, and its even better to know these feelings shall pass. We have to find a solution for the "wanting to be done" feeling. You are also very aware of whats going on, you are facing huge things w/ hub and all, moooooo all you want, we are here for you!!
28 Dec 09 by member: cindyshine
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Glad your snazzy new boots got you outta Funky Town! :) Ooooh....gotta find that tune and dance to it in your new boots! Hot flashes are the pits. Have you tried any remedies for them?? I was using Black Cohosh before the bioidentical HRT and did get some relief.
29 Dec 09 by member: dawn0001
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I watched the Doctor's yesterday and they showed a spray that you can use for hot flashes. They said it worked very well and because it was a spray did not damage your liver. Sorry but I can't remember the name of it.
29 Dec 09 by member: chattycathy1955
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Stress has such a powerful effect on the body. Your strategies to cope with the stress factors are in place and they will help so much. I love your Number 1. I sooooo relate to that idea. Perception is so powerful. Then again -- so is metacognition. The ability to think about how we think is beneficial. Sorry to overanalyze. MUCH LOVE!
29 Dec 09 by member: poet-in-motion
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Dawn ... I just started taking primrose oil which a doctor recommended. I can't do the hormones, bioidentical or otherwise due to a blood clot history ... and migraines.
29 Dec 09 by member: madaboutmoose
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