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THE INSANITY OF THE SUGAR CRAVE
So today was one of those days when I said, "Today I am going to be very conscious of everything I eat! I shall journal it and because I know I am going to journal, I am going to be so very intentional about every morsel that passes my lips." And boy was I ever intentional! Every bit of sugar that went down my gullet was counted then consumed. I got my period this morning and with it came the army of sugar & carb cravings that seem to be the foot soldiers of every menstrual cycle I have waged war against my entire life. Yes. That's right. Waged WAR against. And lately, as I'm getting old and grey and wrinkled (I'm being dramatic; sort of...I'm turning 40 in a month and 13 days...my dotage looms before me), my periods seem like they are truly trying to do me in or at least cause someone else to do me in.
In October I had a break down in the middle of my office in front of all my employees. November I had the good fortune to get a cold and was forced to stay home so no one had to witness the depressed lump I became crying on the couch as I knit and watched horrible romantic comedies that my husband refuses to watch and frankly I never would either except when I'm hormonal and have a head cold and want to crawl in a cave and never come out. This month, at least, I was prepared. I'd never had such amazing pre-menstrual symtoms as I had in October and November. So when it tried to creep upon me last week, I said, "Ah ha! Not so quick, you Mugger of Mirth, you Guerilla of Gloom! I will not be tricked by you, oh no siree bob."
Awareness of the problem is half the battle, but the other part is making sure you know in what form the attack will come so you can prepare yourself. This month, mine came in the form of insomnia. Consequentially I got little sleep, screwed my immune system, and got sick. Sabotage comes in all forms, and it's especially interesting when it's your own mind & body undermining themselves. I expected feeling blue; what I did not expect was that feeling to come in the middle of the night to keep me awake, beating my head against a wall of problems and worries that can not be solved at 3:00 in the morning in the dark hours of pre-dawn.
Ah well. Tomorrow is another day. Onward! Forward! Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more...(stealing shamelessly from Shakespeare).
Diet Calendar Entry for 14 December 2009:
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2181 kcal
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Fat: 124.61g | Prot: 122.60g | Carb: 147.58g.
Breakfast: egg white, green tea. Lunch: mineral water, vegan chocolate cake, Roasted Turkey, Polenta Provencale, olive oil, green beans. Dinner: mineral water, peppermint tea, roasted beets, olive oil, arugula, ground beef. Snacks/Other: Soy Nuts, Organic Crunch Dried Snacks, cream, honey, coffee. more...
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