RMSugarfoot's Journal, 16 May 2016

When I got married at 19, I wore a size 10 dress. Then each time I had a baby, I gained 20 pounds. I actually had five kids, so you can do the math. I've been on every diet I can think of and guess what, I'm still fat. Those diets all worked, but I didn't work the diet. So I had to figure out why. Obviously the diets were good because "normal" people lost weight. So I decided that I must be broken somehow. The sad truth is, I was right. I was broken.

I was married to an abusive man for 12 years who broke me in every way that a human can break another human. Then when I was free, I gravitated to men who continued to break my mind, my ego and my determination. It didn't fit their agenda for me to be healthy, happy and slim. How could they dominate me if I was mentally stable?

At last I decided that all the choices I made were my responsibility. I chose men who treated me like dirt and used me. I just thought if I was loving and kind, they would eventually come around and begin to love me. That's a big lie we tell ourselves. Then I realized that it didn't matter if they loved me if I didn't love myself.

That person described above is not the person I am to day. I'm independent as all get out. I'm losing weight because I want to live a while longer so I can enjoy the life that I cheated myself out of before.

Diet Calendar Entries for 16 May 2016:
1254 kcal Fat: 28.30g | Prot: 49.73g | Carb: 206.56g.   Breakfast: Granulated Sugar, Coffee with Cream and Sugar, 2% Fat Milk, Kroger Old Fashioned Oatmeal. Lunch: Knorr Chicken Bouillon Cube, Tomatoes, Zucchini, Young Green Onions (Tops Only), Celery. Dinner: Applebee's Shrimp Wonton Stir Fry. more...
2648 kcal Activities & Exercise: Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 1 hour, Resting - 15 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...

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Comments 
Thank you for sharing your past struggles and here's to today!!! 
16 May 16 by member: Becca P
hugs 
16 May 16 by member: TheLovelyMrsG
so glad to hear you have broken that cycle and are on your way to having a happy healthy future. 
16 May 16 by member: Marshalyn2016
So proud of you!!!! You are an amazing woman and you can do this! xoxo 
16 May 16 by member: ImLaura
You are an inspiration. So glad you realized it before it was too late : ) 
16 May 16 by member: FloridaAngel
Your story touches me very close to my heart... I have had the same struggle. Keep on moving though. You can do it and I can too!!!! 
16 May 16 by member: JustaChic
is it ok to be treated badly (now) ?  
16 May 16 by member: TriatlonRoger
Oh my dear, you have been through a lot and you are brave to share your story. I think that behind all the pounds there is always an emotional story. Thanks for sharing yours. As long as you have breath in your body it is never too late to live for you.  
16 May 16 by member: Engeland
I am so proud of that strong woman I hear in your last paragraph. Way to go! 
16 May 16 by member: izzypup68
You said it, you've got to love yourself first. Don't ever go back to that life. I'm glad u got out alive now it's time to live life to the fullest and put yourself first.  
16 May 16 by member: Mistybenner
I applaud you on working on breaking the cycle!! May many blessing be sent your way.  
16 May 16 by member: nyhardhat
Happened to me too: I kept getting involved with men who were just like my mother: triply abusive. SO GLAD you figured out what to do! it's all uphill from here! 
16 May 16 by member: PokeyJack
you are a survivor 
17 May 16 by member: kathleenscanlan

     
 

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