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When I got married at 19, I wore a size 10 dress. Then each time I had a baby, I gained 20 pounds. I actually had five kids, so you can do the math. I've been on every diet I can think of and guess what, I'm still fat. Those diets all worked, but I didn't work the diet. So I had to figure out why. Obviously the diets were good because "normal" people lost weight. So I decided that I must be broken somehow. The sad truth is, I was right. I was broken.
I was married to an abusive man for 12 years who broke me in every way that a human can break another human. Then when I was free, I gravitated to men who continued to break my mind, my ego and my determination. It didn't fit their agenda for me to be healthy, happy and slim. How could they dominate me if I was mentally stable?
At last I decided that all the choices I made were my responsibility. I chose men who treated me like dirt and used me. I just thought if I was loving and kind, they would eventually come around and begin to love me. That's a big lie we tell ourselves. Then I realized that it didn't matter if they loved me if I didn't love myself.
That person described above is not the person I am to day. I'm independent as all get out. I'm losing weight because I want to live a while longer so I can enjoy the life that I cheated myself out of before.
Diet Calendar Entries for 16 May 2016:
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1254 kcal
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Fat: 28.30g | Prot: 49.73g | Carb: 206.56g.
Breakfast: Granulated Sugar, Coffee with Cream and Sugar, 2% Fat Milk, Kroger Old Fashioned Oatmeal. Lunch: Knorr Chicken Bouillon Cube, Tomatoes, Zucchini, Young Green Onions (Tops Only), Celery. Dinner: Applebee's Shrimp Wonton Stir Fry. more...
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2648 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 1 hour, Resting - 15 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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