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My wife is on my nerve...she does'nt get my need to record my thoughts and feelings on here and is always giving me a hard time about it. This is why I am so silent about them most of the time and I have stuff I need to get out. This forum is like counciling and should be a place of safety and comfort. She does not understand my diet or my motivations or even how to be a positive force in my weight loss process...I could eat nothing for two weeks and she would not think twice about it. Hell she would probably encourage me to do three (That is NOT an hyperbole)...she has no concept and I am getting tired of the negative anticonstructive input and poor encouragement I receive from her. I dont know how to handle this, I try to explain it but she just does'nt get it. I am at my wits end with this. She says she feels left out of this part of my life and I can sympathise somewhat with this. I am not allowed to have some respite, some place to go with people who understand my daily battles? Fighting the daily onslaught of the American food culture of overindulgence is hard enough. Someone please help me get some perspective. If I am off base let me know if I am not then some advice on how to deal with her feelings in a sensative and caring manner would be greatly appreciated. Educating herself on this subject to better understand is not an option she has no desire/motivation to learn about eating disorders, proper neutrician or dieting it's "boreing". Weight loss has been easy for her because of the Medications she is on she can literally eat a whole box of ice cream sandwiches and not gain a pound. Help!
Diet Calendar Entry for 04 August 2011:
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551 kcal
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Fat: 30.24g | Prot: 55.44g | Carb: 15.51g.
Lunch: boneless skinless chicken , garlic chive, Organic Tuscan Italian Salad Dressing, serrano, Radishes, Cos or Romaine Lettuce, celery. Dinner: vlassic, broccoflower, ground beef, Habanero pepper. Snacks/Other: jarlsburg, deli ham. more...
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 Comments
Hey Buddy! My heart goes out to you. There seems to be some underlying stuff there... that I am tiptoeing on my keyboard so as not to step on any toes. - The one thing you hopefully have going for you... is that she LOVES you. She is your wife afterall, and I am making an assumption here! I am married - 22 yrs - and my husband needs to lose some weight also. He has been experiencing some high blood pressure issues... so this topic has come up. Our kids, mostly grown, asked him why he didn't come on here and join...heck, look at how helpful it's been to Mom! I immediately said, HECK NO! I found FatSecret FIRST, it's my SECRET, and I'm not giving it to him! ( LOL! ) Now, obviously I want to help and support my husband. But I also find this site to be incredibly supportive, healthy, motivating, the friends I've made, the journals, the getting all the crap out of me and off my mind...dealing with stress, etc. It's all stuff I tell him anyway, but it's mine, and it feels 'wrong' to have to know he would be all involved in that. I don't go on or share his facebook page. Heck, I don't even go on facebook anymore. I guess what I am saying, is I do understand. But will she??? Not sure. I know my husband needs my support in his efforts, but she doesn't understand, being that she is NOT living in 'your experiences' just how hard this journey really is. Pls be patient, and try to find some 'happy' 'quiet' times when you two can talk. When you can tell her that you in NO WAY want to leave her out of any part of your life... She could even come here and check out stuff, etc... She will likely get very bored with THAT! What's here for her anyway? But in the end, what you really want is for it to matter to her... to support you... to be happy with you... to understand your frustrating moments, days, occasions, ... be someone you can talk to... share your worst moments, and your best ones too! It's sooooooo not about the the food. You've had to work at your willingness to LOVE... and to be LOVED... and it's still work. But the more you do it, the easier it becomes. And you are definitely worth it. You are doing a fantastic job working towards your weightloss goals... I am sure with a little thoughtfulness, you will be able to help her understand how she can HELP you by being your friend in this journey. (I will be praying for you...and her...)
04 Aug 11 by member: jsfantome
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Thanks again Paula! Your advice is appreciated and welcome. Thank goodness there are people of courage like yourself who are not afraid and are willing to take the time to speak on the hard topics.
07 Aug 11 by member: lowcarbguy
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