Snowwhite100's Journal, 20 January 2023

God be with you through this day and all days! 

In our thoughts and prayers 

You are strong. You are kind. You are loved. You are never ever alone. 🙏🙏🙏❣️ 

St. Jude prayer for you 

Thank you all so much for your support and prayers! The Memorial Luncheon went about as well as it could. The room was suppose to be set the night before but it wasn't and with short staffs these days it took them a long time and was incomplete at that. The restaurant staff didn't exactly do all they said they would do and there were several snafus but in the end, there was enough food albeit some of it I had to demand and came late, I would say too late. They even charged me extra for the food that came late. Good thing I had the cheesecakes. Two people that said they wouldn't come to eat because they weren't willing to take off their masks in a restaurant but might pop in, showed up as we were going to eat and decided they would eat if they could sit away from everyone else. Awkward. Good thing I had Zip lock bags for the leftovers so could bag them myself. I had the 2 large wreaths with big black bows and streamers, and 3 orchids, then one friend brought flowers, and our son-in-law sent a vase of 12 long-stem red roses to the restaurant. I set up 2 tables with many pictures of our daughter in lovely frames I had in our home plus snapshots lying in front of them. There was a separate dessert table with an orchid and silver servers and a framed menu of our luncheon, so it was quite lovely. I skipped going to the store for my friend since we had to pick up someone out of our way, so we were there on time to set up before others came. I was able to cover my body with clothes but the first skirt I tried on wouldn't even start to zip. Good thing I have quite a few clothes (from local thrift shops. Even my husband said it went great but that the pastor spoke: "too long". It seemed fairly short to me being a memorial. I doubt it was over 10 minutes. I spoke for about 5 minutes. There were 20 of us at 3 tables in the banquet room. They had said we would be by ourselves but then booked a party of 12 and set up for them right up next to us, not even at the other end of the room. How could we have had a speaker? The restaurant even tried to give us their different menu selections. In the end after setting up late for us all they discovered the other group postponed 2 weeks. Maybe they found out we were something like a funeral. I wasn't prepared to speak but since I am so verbal 5 minutes wasn't a problem for me. I only told 3 stories about her then told how she was convinced she was leaving in the rapture and how quickly she died after cancer went to her liver. We only knew for 2 weeks, and she died only 3 days after they were telling her she could live quite a long time. I told them how our son died in a couple of minutes so none of us know about tomorrow or even 5 minutes from now. There is only one way to go to Heaven and I wanted all of them to go there! And I want you also there with me, with the wonderful love and acceptance we will have there. Open our hearts to Jesus and let Him come in. The alternative is unthinkable. It was your prayers that carried me. Thank you again.  

lcouch58, I'm sorry for the loss of your son less than 2 years ago. You know the pain. Thank you for your prayers. I too am praying for you. 

russkey2, thank you for wanting to spare me as much pain as possible, I really appreciate it and I don't mean to offend you, I really don't but I just couldn't help but giggle at the thought of me not going to my "party" so to speak, that I was throwing. Nineteen people standing in the banquet room with nothing set up, and then the wrong menu, being told there were another 12 people pressed right up to our tables. I was committed to spending several hundred dollars but the staff wasn't very committed to taking care of us. If I hadn't been there and been an organizer and asking for every last thing we needed the whole thing probably wouldn't have even taken place. I've had to leave more than one reception with never having gotten my food because they ran out. The staff was helping people in the main dining room. I was like a jack-in-the-box jumping up from my meal to ask for this and that from the 2 waiters that were taking care of a whole other room of luncheon diners on a Saturday. Good thing I had already promised one of the waiters something extra "under the table" in addition to their regular 15% tip on the whole meal. I was the "advocate" for the group, in addition to paying the bill. My husband is a "deer-in-the-headlights. Without me there I'm sure everyone would have left and maybe gone to In-N-Out burger. This is a neighborhood place for me. If I hadn't paid the bill I couldn't have gone back. Even now, the owner is not thrilled with me. Prices have gone up for him too, and he's being squeezed on both sides. He gave me a good price at a weakened moment and didn't want to keep it. We compromised but neither of us is thrilled. It was just "O.K.". At least we both kept our dignity so we can go back.  

Sending prayers  

Why would you even want to go back is the question.  

Ooops—- I’m so sorry that such a nice gesture on your part ended up being yet another painful disappointment for you..  

my prayers are with you snowwhite100, keep your head up, and continue to focus on all of the great things that God has done for you. Hugs  

Thank goodness this ordeal is behind you. Perhaps life will settle into a new routine. So sad that this routine will not include your precious daughter. Stay strong and take care of yourself. I think of you often. 

Thanks for stopping by my page. It was nice hearing from you. I'm sorry you are hurting so badly. I missed this post but you are always in my prayers. I hope you start getting better sleep. I struggle with that on and off myself. It's hard to take care of ourselves, especially when we hurt so much that we don't feel like we care about ourselves. I think that's the hardest thing I've struggled with. Tomorrow is a new day. One foot in front of the other. Sending you a big 🐻 hug. 

It sounds like you did a lovely job to honor your daughter among friends and loved ones. I'm glad those people were there to support you in your time of intense, new grief, as are your FS friends here. I wish we could ease your pain. May your remaining prayers be answered this year and your physical and emotional suffering eased.  

Hello snowwhite100 I'm checking in on you and I pray all is well. Miss you being here.  

May you have peace during this time. My thoughts and prayers are with you 🙏