WisteriaSky233's Journal, 03 January 2023

New Year's Weekends always make me depressed. Hubs and I had a so so visit and by Sunday night we had a challenging conversation which very much upset me. He didn't understand why I get depressed on New Years and then chose that time to remind me how he loves me unconditionally, but I love him with conditions. It hurt me but he is right and the condition is living without tobacco. He left yesterday morning and I was depressed all day. Then we talked on the phone and I told him how it made me feel. He said he wasn't trying to guilt trip me about his giving up the nicotine, but wanted me to realize that him giving it up for me showed his unconditional love. And if I let go of the condition, then I would see he really did give it up. Seemed like double talk to me. I spent yesterday at home cleaning, getting the house redecorated for regular life, beach theme mostly. I exercised some too and watched movies. Feeling better today, back at work.

Diet Calendar Entries for 03 January 2023:
1871 kcal Fat: 91.95g | Prot: 81.61g | Carb: 186.82g.   Breakfast: Atkins Creamy Vanilla Protein Rich Shake, Coffee. Lunch: Kraft Original BBQ Sauce, Sonic Milk, Sonic Chicken Strips (Kids Meal), Sonic Oreo Blast (Mini), Sonic French Fries (Small). Dinner: Oscar Mayer Lunchables Turkey & Cheddar with Crackers, Cuties Mandarin Orange, StarKist Foods Tuna Creations Ranch. Snacks/Other: Potato Chips, Tillamook Teriyaki Smoked Sausages, Coffee. more...
1773 kcal Activities & Exercise: Squats (Legs) - 12 minutes, Watching TV/Computer - 2 hours, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 30 minutes, Driving - 45 minutes, Desk Work - 8 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 4 hours and 13 minutes, Showering - 20 minutes. more...

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Comments 
hope it gets better for both of u. 🙏 
03 Jan 23 by member: KaiKoo22
Look at your wedding vows— those are conditions. You can also call them standards. Love yourself and keep those boundaries in place.💚 
03 Jan 23 by member: JustBananas
@JustBananas Yes, it is standards and you're right. We talked again about it and he again said that if I let go of the condition that I would see that he loves me that much and that he gave it up for himself. But that wasn't the tone of the conversation Sunday night. IDK 
04 Jan 23 by member: WisteriaSky233
Quitting smoking may be his strength and your weakness. There may be another habit that is YOUR strength and his weakness. To error is human. Instead of putting pressure and guilt tripping, you ask him for support in giving up the habit. I hope you can identify your triggers in smoking and find a way to quit. Only give up on the idea of giving up. Find a healthy way to reward yourself for each success. 
04 Jan 23 by member: KarenMGarner1
@KarenMGarner1 I am a non-smoker and never touched it. He smoked for 35 years, so I don't get the draw to it. He said he gave it up because he wanted to but when he get upset about something he gets into this mindset that I "made him do it" so I think the truth is the angry outburst not the other.  
04 Jan 23 by member: WisteriaSky233
I understand how much you want him to quit. I would love for my hubby to quit chewing tobacco but just like anything it is his journey to try to accomplish. He has quit and started up years later. I do know when he has quit I have to be really really supportive because he is such a crank. Good luck and it is never an easy journey for the one quitting and the one helping to support them.  
04 Jan 23 by member: Redporchlady
@Redporchlady Thanks, he seems heartfelt. He came home for a brief visit and he brought it up again that if I let go of my fears of him failing or sneaking it that it would help our marriage. I would really see that he loves me that much that he quit and it was his decision.  
05 Jan 23 by member: WisteriaSky233

     
 

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