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I am so upset right now I can hardly speak. Last night my daughter, almost 15, got drunk for the first time while out with her friends. When my husband and I went to pick her up she was crying and saying how sorry she was and that she felt so much pressure to be skinny!!!! I feel sick!!!! I let her eat whatever she wants but if she comes grocery shopping with me I guess she sees me reading label for sugar content, etc. She dances competitively and she's at the age where girls naturally gain weight in their hips and get curvy. She has a great, strong figure but she's no longer a little boy shape! Nothing wrong with that! I've just been reacting to her talk about wanting to stay in shape so I was thinking I was helping by making South Beach foods for the whole family. I had no idea she would take this to mean I was somehow disappointed in her weight!!! My job is to be a good mother and when something like this happens it is devastating. I have made it a point not to talk weight in the house but just good eating and when I see my kids ordering pizza and pop with their friends one night(they have jobs so it's usually their own money) and then sugar cereal for breakfast and fast food for lunch, I'm going to say "hey, how about I make you guys a spinach salad with grilled chicken and mushrooms?" Is that so wrong? I think Samantha just blamed me for her stupid drinking mistake so she wouldn't get into as much trouble but it really hurts. Thanks for letting me vent here. Being a mom can be such a thankless job at times.
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 Comments
Don't beat yourself up over this episode - you sound like a fantastic mom to me. There is such a lot of pressure on girls these days to be skinny and from what you've said it sounds like you are trying to help your kids to eat a well balanced diet. Being a mom is a thankless job at times but it is also a fabulous and rewarding job so don't let this one negative get you down. Stay strong and happy.
25 Mar 07 by member: peeky
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I think you hit the nail on the head when you said your daughter used the pressure to be skinny as an excuse for drinking. She was trying to deflect the blame. If she wants to be skinny & healthy than she should NOT use alcohol!!! That would be my come back. Good luck & don't blame yourself. This is the age of experimentation for young women. I am sure you have raised her to be strong & to think for herself.
25 Mar 07 by member: LittleMamaMickey
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First of all you sound like your doing a wonderful job as a mom and fellow dieter. Second you must be doing something right if(no not encouraging her drinking, diff not right) but that she called you guys to get her instead of getting in a car with another drunk person, so tops off to you as parents thats a hard one to accomplish. Iam in law enforcement and unfortunely I see all to often the kids that make the wrong choice in that situation, due to lack of parenting. second keep up the work of bringing in SB friendly meals I did with my boyfriend and he loves it. he lost weight by not eating(BOOO) but now he sees you can lose with eating healthy. GOOD LUCK
25 Mar 07 by member: anicolet
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Don't blame yourself...kids will be kids...and I agree with anicolet, she had you guys come and get her. That says your a good parent in itself! As far as pressure of being skinny, that comes from her peers. My 13 year old niece has an eating disorder already....13!! Kids are under so many more pressures than we were as kids...just like us compared to our parents. I'm sure she does feel the "skinny" pressure but it's not coming from you. My parents always tried to get me to eat better...took me until age 38! I'm sure most kids listen the same as I did when I was 15. She's looking for a scapegoat...if it's Mom it's a win-win situation. Try not to take it personally.
25 Mar 07 by member: kvonnordheim
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I'm not so far off in age from your daughter (I just turned 23) and I have to agree that she's most likely using the weight thing as an excuse to experiment with drinking. I'm not saying that this is a good idea, but this is what worked in my family. . .All of us kids (both in my immeidete family and my cousins) were allowed to try wine, mixed drinks, beer ect, but there were rules. We could only have it at home, with our parents there. I just watched my younger cousins go through this experiment (one is 13, the other is 10) both got a very small amount of a wine cooler to try and both of them brought it back and dumped it out after one or two sips. Their older brother is 15 and absolutely will not drink while he's out with friends. For me and my siblings, it took the mystery out of "what's so great about drinking" and allowed us to try it without being in a peer pressure situation. And in regards to the pressure to be thin with teen girls (especially the highly competitive dance groups!) talk to her honestly about why you're paying so much attention to labels. Let her know what you're looking for. If she wants to be healthy, she'll understand wanting to avoid a ton of hidden sugars that aren't healthy. Have her read the South Beach Diet book and talk to you about it. Talk about why you're concerned about you're weight, not how you look, but the health concerns. And don't worry, she'll be human again soon! :)
26 Mar 07 by member: reeneejune
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