Jillian04's Journal, 17 May 2011

I'm writing first thing this morning because I feel disgusting. The emotions are still raw and I want to record these feelings so that hopefully I can remember to never do the things that make me feel this way again.
Last night I ate wings. Why?
-Because my boyfriend offered to pay.
-We went to my favorite place and I haven't been there in forever and I'm not really able to due to school.
- my boyfriend loves me even if I gain some weight.
I ate when I was already full, why?
-I didn't want to throw away food and be wasteful.
SHUT UP! I make excuse after excuse so that I feel better about what I did. Well not any more! Today I will feel bad, I will allow myself to feel the consequence of treating my body so badly. Lately it has been one mistake after another and it is time for a change!
I put my pants on today and they were tight, tight enough to make me change into other pants that fit but are still tight. What happened to my flat stomach I had just a few short weeks ago?
Sweets, oils, alcohol and fats happened. No more! I must stop the damage before it's too bad!
School started again and I have no choice but to immerse myself in that and while doing so I will also immerse myself in this diet! I will no longer accept excuses!!!
On another note, I hope that everyone else kept up their motivation from yesterday and didn't fail as miserably as me :)

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You can do it girl! I hope today you find the motivation you've been lacking and are able to win in the battle versus food. You've done so well, but changing your eating habits permanently is a challenge, and the temptation of wings will always be there. Let tomorrow go - you can't change it. What you can change is today :) 
17 May 11 by member: healthy_allie
These moments happen...and the best news is , we dust ourselves off and we begin again. Are you going to go an entire lifetime and never eat another wing?? or drink too much on a weekend?? probably not - don't beat yourself up. This is a for life deal, not a few week deal sooooooo one plate of wings in the grand scheme is manageable- don't follow them with ice cream cake and 5 margaritas- today is a new day- clean healthy breakfast lunch and dinner with some good food choices and by the weekend the pants won't be tight. : ) Don't beat up on you!!!  
17 May 11 by member: sharonfriz
ah that sucks, i know those feelings WAY too well! it's a battle we have to fight with every choice we make. make every meal an opportunity to start fresh! i always end up having binge days and that's just dumb- we have to get back on track immediately after the first slip. so you messed up, you felt crappy, now it's time to move on and make healthy choices! good luck! 
18 May 11 by member: bowser25852

     
 

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