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Someone once asked me "what is written on the tablet of my heart?" - And yes, this question was in conversation about weight!
At the time, I didn't get it... didn't understand how past experiences truly manifest in the everyday actions of the present.
Been through some stuff in my life, as I know we all have... and being the 'positive' person I typically am, just really didn't want to drag it all up and 'deal with it'... again! Actually, truth be told, I thought I had pretty much dealt with all of it anyway... and was trying to 'move on.'
So, why am I bringing it up today. Because in retrospect - I really did need to learn what things were written there in my heart - which were LIES ... and which ones were TRUTHS. For far too long I didn't think myself worthy of being loved by others. And those hurts and lies, allowed me to just simply stop caring about myself, about any weight gain, about life in general.
As my ability to make changes in my daily way of eating began to take hold, it somehow empowered me to begin to make changes in my way of thinking. I have restored old relationships, forgiven, and more honestly moved on - then ever before! I have faced my fears openly with my children and my husband - and come out the other side aware that while I am not perfect (nor do I need to be) - they love me for who I am - right now - without any pressures to change or be something else. I found freedom in my heart to LOVE me! And to LIKE me. I made a few journeys back to my childhood, found that little girl inside of me and apologized for leaving her stranded in my hurts and in my pain. I have accepted my life for being all that GOD has planned for me for it to be... and to be grateful. To have a grateful heart. A heart full of love for others, and one full of Love for my God. That's more than enough for me. More than sufficient!
So what IS written on my heart ... I LOVE YOU! Just the way you are! And if your weight never changes, so be it. Still LOVE you! And if you never win a Pulitzer Prize, so be it. Still LOVE you! And if you LOVE YOURSELF enough to deal with whatever has brought you to this point in life, but need a friend to help you along the way... I am here for you! Because I still love YOU! Not the you that most of us hide behind, but the genuine, authentic YOU that lingers in the heart, that hides from past hurts, that has fears and pressures, and anxieties like the rest of us... I love YOU!!!
If you can, - try to tell yourself how much you love you! Write yourself a letter, stare yourself down in the mirror - but try to reach into that place where you can displace the lies from your heart and be able to live out the TRUTH - YOU are LOVEABLE, and WORTHY of being LOVED!
Have a great day!!!
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 Comments
I feel we get stuck in this trap - we need a positive attitude to motivate ourselves to lose weight but it is hard to feel positive about ourselves when we hate the bodies we're trapped in. Thanks for the motivational thoughts.
28 Apr 11 by member: BuffyBear
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This makes me smile :) As I go into a maintenance phase, and DECIDED if I was 'done losing weight' the whole love yourself thing became quite important. My initial goal weight was 138lbs; where I am right now. After arriving there last summer, I was content for several months. However, come January, I decided I wanted to lose just a littttle more. I successfully got to 134lbs, but found it difficult to maintain. What do you know, back to a solid, stable 138lbs. That is where my body wants to be, and I am healthy. So. Be. It. However coming to peace with that was difficult. "I'm not thin enough", "I'm very happy, but wouldn't I be happier if I was skinnier?", "People want me to be a little thinner", etc. etc. Now, did I ever truly believe these things? NO. Fortunately, for me, it was just a little nagging thought at the back of my skull. Over the past few weeks I've not only subdued those pesky thoughts, but actually totally debunked them. I do not buy into them. I am healthy, and I love my body, treat it well, and for that, my body loves me back :) And on that final note of love, love, love: http://tinyurl.com/cp3slx Someone from my church showed me this the other day; take it for what it's worth :) I think it's a good reminder of the important stuff (hint: love!)
28 Apr 11 by member: dadams10
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Another great journal Paula.
28 Apr 11 by member: sarahsmum
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What a lovely, journal Paula, and your right you have to love yourself in
order to love others. And if you love your self enough to take care of you
then the rest is easy..Love You girl.........Bren
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Being able to forgive myself for not being perfect, (in os sooo many ways) was/is my first step towards being able to love myself. Some days it is easier than others - today is a good day!
28 Apr 11 by member: gg-girl
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Awesome post Paula. Thank you and I love you as well. Have a wonderful day my friend.:)
28 Apr 11 by member: LauPug1
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A very inspirial journal as always.I look forward to reading yours each day.You are so right.If you don't love yourself you can never really love another....nonna
28 Apr 11 by member: sexynonna
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Such motivation in your words! Thank you for helping me embrace this journey as a whole and not miss everything around me by focusing strictly on the goal at the end. You have inspired me to keep going! Thanks again and have a beautiful day! :)
-Rose
28 Apr 11 by member: Rose1981
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Paula- that was something I really needed to read and to hear today. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I almost thought you wrote that just for me!
28 Apr 11 by member: Sherillynn
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