Almost didn't get a journal entry in today! Busy with the studio project... I spent the day getting the carpet and padding pulled up, the flooring contractor had applied beads of glue under the pad to keep it in place, I normally would'nt worry over getting the glue up but the floor is going to be left bare and painted with concrete paint.
Getting the glue scraped off was tedious and exhausting, but it got done. Such things used to really piss me off, I would cuss and fuss and get stressed out when I encountered a snag in my project. I did say a few colorful words here and there today, but not in the way I used to.
I have so much more patience, peace and composure these days, but these are virtues I have recently achieved. I am an Irish/German by heritage and boy we can have a short fuse... I remember My dad's horribly scary temper, evident especially when he was drinking. I hate to say it but I was much the same. I am usually a very laid back person, but during times of great imbibage (what a fun word!) my temper was always waiting for an opportunity to show itself and any unexpected or upsetting thing would make me blow a cork.
This almost always happened when I was by myself, but even when I was at work (I never, ever drank during working hours) things would still irritate me and instead of speaking my mind I would let it quietly fester. So it's safe to say I was not always the greatest person to be around. I wish I could take those times back, but I can't. They tell me that anger turned inwards IS, in fact, depression. Sheesh no wonder I was so sick.
Thankfully now I have learned how to release anger or stress, or even frustration in much healthier way. I pray, meditate, study nature, walk my dog, etc., and I work out almost every day. I turn on my iPod and get into my music, I choose songs that inspire me or motivate me, allowing me to release any pent up negative emotions I have that day. It sure beats the coping mechanisms I used in the past. On some days my workout is truly cathartic, and leaves me ready to tackle anything!
Well, um, this was supposed to be a very quick entry tonight. Oh well! More work on the studio tomorrow, without spurts of uncontrolled rage.
Onward.
"Do, or do not - there is no "try". - Yoda
Diet Calendar Entries for 17 April 2011:
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1411 kcal
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Fat: 31.71g | Prot: 88.11g | Carb: 212.26g.
Breakfast: Boar's Head Chicken Breast, egg beaters, flatout wrap, green grapes, coffee, Skim Milk. Lunch: green grapes, sauteed bell peppers, Roasted Broiled or Baked Chicken Breast (Skin Not Eaten), brown rice, mushrooms. Dinner: mixed vegetables, olive oil, red bell peppers, brown rice, Onions, celery, publix black beans. Snacks/Other: Weight Watchers Ice Cream Bars - Giant Chocolate Fudge, planters nut mix, Publix Caramel Rice Snacks. more...
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4147 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Shoveling - 1 hour, Walking (exercise) - 3.5/mph - 15 minutes, Resting - 10 hours and 30 minutes, Stretching (yoga) - 15 minutes, Housework - 4 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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