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I had a portioned breakfast, lunch, and dinner today. I am proud of not getting any seconds. I'm also glad for getting my much needed exercise today. I also had portioned snacks of Oreo cookies. Although they're not the healthy choice of snacks, but I really wanted something sweet. (Not that it was a need.) Over all it was a great start. I smoked my vape at least some parts of the day. I don't smoke nicotine. It's the 0mcgs. I use it for flavors to satisfy my ongoing taste buds that I always have a problem with. My problem is that when I crave something, I have to have what I'm craving whenever I can get it. Then when I do get it it's not enough. To be honest I think my brain is really messed up. I have always had that habit since it started over 20 years ago. My problem with my weight started when I was 4 years old. Even then I was at risk for diabetes. But back then it didn't start spiraling out of control til I was 6 years old. I was already wearing women's size 8 in jeans back then. All the kids clothes out the window. My first diet..., Drum roll. Slim Fast. I done it for 3 weeks straight and I became allergic to it. The most embarrassing event for me was when I wanted to try out for cheer. Can't cheer cause I'm fat. Even as all the events kept going and my weight kept growing I still found ways to be my bubbly self. Well, food was always the motivater for that. It was like a silent frenemy. It was there whenever I needed it to be. Whenever I was down or depressed or just because I was bored. I sat ate and done absolutely nothing. My main exercise when I was young I used to go to physical therapy. But that a was it except PE in school. When I look at all my history with my weight and physical app I sometimes it's just too depressing. Others makes snide remarks or they'll make comments about it. I tend to take things to heart and wear a cape on my shoulder, but I try to hide myself so I don't make the situation worse. Even now I struggle with my habits. Some days I do well, others not so much. No one is perfect and no one will ever turn out like those women and men on Hydroxycut commercials slim with six pack abs after you take the pills and the protein powders. Even the ones on the Atkins and Nutrisystem commercials is false. No one is gonna turn out like that. Especially someone my size and will have a lot of excess skin. Even if I lost the weight, I will have the discomfort of the skin which will not just make me embarrassed but it would make me lose sight of my goal of being a body builder. I still got a long ways to go. Even if it will take a couple years, I think it'll be worth it for my over all health to do better.
Diet Calendar Entry for 27 October 2021:
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1423 kcal
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Fat: 60.02g | Prot: 69.83g | Carb: 154.47g.
Breakfast: Toasted White Bread , Toasted White Bread , Kraft American Cheese Slice, Fried Egg , Fried Egg , Fried Egg . Lunch: Lipton Sweetened Iced Tea, Coca-Cola Diet Coke (Bottle), General Mills Cap'n Crunch Cereal, Great Value 2% Reduced Fat Milk. Dinner: Cooked Green Cabbage (Fat Added in Cooking), Coca-Cola Diet Coke (Bottle), Baked Sweetpotato (Peel Not Eaten), Skinless Chicken Breast. Snacks/Other: Kraft American Cheese Slice, Oreo Double Stuf Sandwich Cookies, Oreo Double Stuf Sandwich Cookies. more...
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