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For the first time since I started the diet, I went to eat in the college cafe. I had egg salad with two large pieces of lettuce, one medium slice of tomato, and two small slices of onion. I thought I was going to have a heart attack when I came in. There was pizza, burritos, chicken pot pie, mashed potatoes, hamburgers, hot dogs, soda, sandwiches, and all sorts of other goodies.
The worst, however, was the dessert. They had chocolate peanutbutter marshmallow brownies and cups of oreo chocolate cake with chocolate pudding and whipped cream. After I ate my lunch, I stood there looking at the desserts with my heart in my stomach. I could feel my stomach clenching, I wanted some so badly. I was still hungry and wanted tons of dessert in the worst way. I walked out. After I had driven back to my apartment, I sat in my car and cried. I felt like such a child to have to tear myself away from desserts and now be crying about it. Oh well.
I went in the cafe to show myself that I could do it. That I could walk around and see all the other good stuff, and still eat healthy. On Sundays or Saturdays, I allow myself some dessert, but I want it all the time. I am thinking about going back tonight to eat in the cafe for dinner.
I keep telling myself that if I want to get down to a 2 or a 0, I have to walk away from the dessert counter and the things I love so much. Why does it hurt so much? *sigh*
Thank you to every one for all your support. Have a lovely day.
Diet Calendar Entry for 31 March 2009:
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225 kcal
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Fat: 1.20g | Prot: 13.39g | Carb: 39.60g.
Breakfast: mixed fruit. Lunch: onion, lettuce, Creamy Egg Salad. more...
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