Jennie-o's Journal, 23 February 2011

I was preparing my lunch today (late because of the tremendous breakfast I had) and took a gander at my servings per container on the nutrition label. O. M. G!!! One 5oz bag of arugula only contains TWO servings! Wha-??? The 12oz bag of baby spinach contained only FOUR servings! Do you realize how much food that is????? I have going about this all WRONG! ~Aaaarrrrrggggh~

If I follow the premise of the Mayo diet for 1200 cals, I should be plenty satisfied with what I eat! My only problem is this: will it be enough to sustain me? Should I stick to 1645 I've been eating. It seems like too much food sometimes. While I love to indulge (now) in plenty of wholesome foods, I'm beginning to notice I don't want to eat as much as I used to. I mean I literally don't. I'm really happy about that. Retraining myself to eat more wholesome foods is finally paying off! My body is responding by responding in a more natural manner. I have more energy, I feel better overall, I find I want to do more things (if only I could convince my husband that we should!) and I wanna get up and dance each morning instead of wanting to burrow deeper under the covers because if I didn't that would mean I had to deal with a whole new day... What a difference a healthier lifestyle makes.

I am beginning to not look forward to the next meal as in, gee, I can't wait until I eat again! Nope, it's like hm, this will be good for dinner and that is that. I am finding ways to preoccupy myself because I don't want to sit still and pretty much can't! I just LOVE this feeling and I want to shout it on the rooftops: "People! You don't need to starve! You don't need to banish any food groups! You can eat tons of food healthily and wholesomely! You can lose weight doing it! Exercise! Eat! Love yourself!" Unfortunately the masses will shake their collective heads and smile indulgently because there's another nutter... ~sigh~

I would say something like: "Why, oh, WHY didn't I see this before?" The truth is, I did! That truth also has another truth: I didn't want to give up my unhealthy lifestyle because of greed. Greed for the things that were killing me. Greed for sugar, bad fats, creams, etc... I could also say this: "How could I have let myself get so overweight?!" I know how. It was the depression of living such an unhealthy lifestyle that got me down. It was the food that was slowly killing my desire for life! I can remember October of 2009 so vividly. Oh, that was the start to a miserable time in my life. I would come home from work and just sit on the couch. I wouldn't move off of that couch until it was bedtime. My husband waited on me hand and foot. I'm surprised he wasn't wiping my ass for me, as well. It was that bad. It didn't help that I had a boss that was literally terrorizing me at work, but I think if I had been eating healthier, I would have been better able to handle it, but as it was I was an emotional wreck. I even had a huge fight in the lab w/ the lead tech which led to my involuntary resignation (read "fired"). I was on Effexor, Abilify, and some other things to help me deal w/ my depression.

Once we moved to Calif***kinya last July, I noticed a change. I started eating more healthy thanks to my stepdaughter and stepson (mostly my stepson). I lost 30lbs. I was feeling better. I was getting great compliments (hubby liked telling everyone what an nice ass I had...) and the mind blanks were pretty much a thing of the past. Even the dizzy spells didn't plague me like they used to. I was weaning myself off of the anti-depressants, too. Then came the holidays. Oops. Tons of crap food and boy did I EAT! I didn't pay attention to my body AT ALL. I gained seven pounds back and started to feel like crap again. Now since early January, I've been experimenting with this and that as a way of eating and have found that three squares, two or three snacks, and plenty of water are just the ticket. The exercising still needs more work but am trying to get better at it. Also, I'm thinking I need to cut down on the popcorn. I'm addicted to the stuff. It is to me what chocolate is to others. ~sigh~

But all in all, I feel pretty damned good! I'm weighing in on Saturday morning before the Swiss ball workout (fs keeps telling me to WEIGH IN NOW (allcaps mine) so I better. LOL

Right now I'm waiting for the last load to dry so I can drag my ever patient husband to the Bluffs with me so we can scramble around the hills and trails! I can't wait!

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1825 kcal

Fat: 68.42g | Prot: 100.98g | Carb: 225.37g.   Breakfast: egg, Peanut Butter, brown sugar, oat bran, milled flax seed, Protein Powder (100% Whey Protein). Lunch: smart and delicious tortilla, egg, Baby Spinach, arugula. Dinner: Cream Of Mushroom Soup (with Equal Volume Water, Canned), cream of celery, pork neck bones, milk, potato. Snacks/Other: banana nut bread. more...

3883 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Hiking - 2 hours, Housework - 1 hour and 30 minutes, Resting - 12 hours and 30 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...