Not being consistent, gone out to eat a few times with the girls and even though I haven't been able to finish all of whatever I ordered, brought leftovers home and had the next day. Not a biggy overall, but hard to count calories with specialty made menu items, so I'm sure I under counted.
Trying very hard to move more, but I'm not really motivated. If you had asked me 10 years ago, I would've said I hardly ever sat down on the computer, only when bills needed to be paid. But now, I find myself glued to the damn thing, playing mindless games, flipping through FB or IG. I have been trying to get away from it by getting back into reading actual books, which is nice.
However, my girls are getting ready to move out (we bought a house 3 1/2 years ago) in the next year and it's thrown me for a loop. Youngest is 26 and wants to move to NY. Older one is 28, finally back on her feet and working full time from home doing her one love...computer EVERYthing. She makes good $$, but I fear when she moves out on her own, she'll fall back into a depressive state like she did her last two years of college. Not to say she couldn't handle it better now, she has meds to help, but she's a very intense person, so I'm concerned about how she'll do overall.
And, yes. I realize that they are more than capable of handling their own lives, they do have to make their own mistakes and learn from them, just like the rest of us have. But ever since my divorce from their Dad in 2009, we've been even more close than ever before. I'm having difficulty dealing with the thought that they will no longer be near by. And, if I have to admit it, I don't want to be alone.
Thus, I'm determined to eat better and get healthier for myself, but I have all these other things swirling around in my head and I can't seem to shake a feeling of greater loss.
BF died in August 2020, step-daughter killed in a hit and run on NYE and Mom passed on January 28,2021. Now the kiddos getting ready to fly the coop. I'm not even taking into account the Covid crap fest that was 2020 and into 2021. Thankfully, I've been fully vaccinated (as have the girls), so that, at least, is one less thing.
Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there and to my sweet Daddy in heaven. How has it already been 17 years since you've been gone? I miss you so.
