yogamama3's Journal, 06 February 2009

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I DID IT!!!! I MADE IT TO MY 50LB GOAL!!!!!

Well I feel fantastic. I lost more weight than my oldest daughter weighs. I lost a whole 8yr old!! I feel better than I have in years and can even run, lol. Last night I ran to through the parking lot at basketball practice carrying my 25lb 2 yr old. I did not win the race, my 8 yr old did, but I beat out my 4 yr old :)

I can not tell you how awesome I feel. I have not been 204lbs in about 7 yrs!! I am so close to being under 200lbs. I can not tell you how good I feel. This is my year!!

One thing I must vent about though.... my grandmother. She basically raised me much of my life. I owe my life to her for getting me out of a horrible environment. She just isn't supportive. When I lost 30lbs she said "Now if you could only lose 180 more." That really hurt, I was never at the weight where I could safely lose 210lbs!! When I was about 115lbs and in high school, she use to tell me I would be so pretty if I didnt have such huge thighs. I can't image they were that big being only 115lbs. Then today I tell her I lost 50lbs and she doesnt say a word other than do you know what time it is?? Ugh!!! I don't need her approval but I don't need the bullshit either. I had brand new underwear and they got lost in our room, I didn't lose them and my husband was in there moving things so of course I am on the phone with her and yelling at him and she takes his side. NEVER ONCE has she ever taken my side. Never. Someone could rape me and it would be my fault not the other persons. I hate that. She also still thinks I am a sz 24 and wants to give me all her clothes that are too big for her then gets mad when I say they won't fit.

Oh but enough about that, I just needed to get it off my chest. I am so mad at her right now. But not mad enough to eat my weight in chocolate or even have any junk food at all, Screw them all. All the people that want me to fail, screw em, I will not fail!!!

This is my year!!!

204.0 lb Lost so far: 50.0 lb. Still to go: 46.0 lb. Diet followed 100%.

Diet Calendar Entries for 06 February 2009:

1279 kcal

Fat: 40.06g | Prot: 95.90g | Carb: 131.29g. Breakfast: bottled water, yoplait yoplus. Lunch: cream cheese, blueberry bagel, bottled water. Dinner: bottled water, chocolate cake, lettuce, roll, sliced ham, candy carrots, fried chicken. more...