Hedder52's Journal, 26 January 2009

I second counseling. If your husband won't go, go yourself. It can help you straighten out what you want in your life. If you gained 10 pounds, most of that would be water. Maybe the scale is broken. Stress? Just take care of yourself, eat healthy and exercise. Drink water? Technically, it takes 3500 calories to gain one pound, so you would have to eat 35,000 over the weekend to gain actual fat. Good luck! 

First off, I'm sending you a big (((hug))). I know how hard it is when you feel like your world is crashing around you and you don't know what to do to stop it. The only advice I have is to be true to yourself. You don't want to look back 10, 20, or 50 years from now with regret that you would have made a different decision. It doesn't make it easier right now but whatever happens, have confidence in the direction you want to go in. It's the right one for you. 

oh girl - first i have never known anyone to gain 10 lbs in two days so there must be an issue w/the scale honestly...Mine runs on batteries and when the batteries start to go on mine, it'll give me funky readings so I know that's when to change them. If it doesn't run on batteries, take a 10lb bag of surgar or flour since it's true to the weight and stick it on your scale to see if it's off that way. The marriage - I am sooo sorry to hear that things are not going so hot right now for you. Counseling may help, I'm not a huge fan of it myself. I honestly would be very straight up and forward with him and let him know that this is issue that needs talked over and you know that he tries to avoid it, or changes the subject, so on. Let him know that you feel that by avoiding the issue it's starting to put a strain on your marriage and it's something that you really need to get off of your chest. The only thing that works for me and my husband is point blank, blunt honesty. We don't try to smooth it over or beat around the bush when it comes to really important issues (even if the other doesn't think it's so important). We are like you, we've been together for almost 10 yrs(mother's day weekend will be 10 yrs, married for 3 of them so far. I know children are a huge change in one's life, some are scared, some just really never want to have any and some want that big change in their life. I do agree w/TexasT and it's something that I have followed for a long time, you only get one chance at life and you deserve happiness. I started to follow that moto in my senior yr in high school, then got married, lost that whole concept and myself, got divorced and now happily married. When I realized how miserable I was, that's when I realized I had forgotten about the moto I was always going to live by. We are here for you girl, you know that! 

I would say first off, you need to really pray about this. I don't condone divorce at all. You definitely need to talke to your husband point blank and ask him what he wants out of your marriage. He knew going into it that you wanted children, so he can't say this will be a surprise to him. Tell him your feelings about the subject...the only thing is, you don't go into a vasectomy thinking it can be reversed...that's not why you get one. I don't think he was very honest about that when you met him. Men get them b/c they don't want any more children. I feel you may have been misled...still, there is hope...all I can say is, run to God!! He always understands!!