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I get really angry at myself sometimes. So angry that I almost put every single pound back on. Angry that I thought the way to deal with my miscarriage was to be "go easy on myself," and that "easy" was to allow myself to eat and drink whatever I wanted. When will I understand that in times of weakness and pain I need to stay MORE in balance with my food, my exercise. That my physical well-being and my emotional and well-being are closely linked to each other.
Once again, I'm avoiding seeing people, making a recluse of myself because I'm embarrassed. ARGH.
Some of this comes from being raised by a father who was a perfectionist. I'm a perfectionist too. I need to take live one day at a time, one hour at a time some days.
Freezing outside and thinking about walking around the mall to get to 10,000 steps.
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