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Permission to vent?? I'm very upset, and I need to get it out. I was reading an article in our local paper online about an elderly woman who has two grown sons with developmental/intellectual disabilities. The article was highlighting how they have no heat in their home, and haven't in years because of a dead beat landlord. It also mentioned the trouble the boys have gotten into around town because their mother is having a hard time keeping them under control. She is like in her seventies. People can comment on these articles, and when I was looking at the comments I was astounded. People are saying that they want these people out of town, that the disabled men should be in an institution like they had back in the eighties to keep 'the rest of us' safe from them. I mean like I am in tears over this. How can people be so cruel. So many people.... Don't they understand that these are that woman's children, and that she has sacrificed her entire life to caring for and trying to protect them. Doesn't anyone realize that these men are HUMAN BEINGS, with rights. Most people with developmental disabilities know that they are different. They are aware of being made fun of. Those people need help, not hatred and criticism. My sister is only fourteen and she gets frustrated all the time because she can't do what my kids can do, and cant voice her frustrations. I can't imagine what it's like to be stuck in your own body like that. Where is the compassion.
Then on facebook I find that my lovely sister in law has posted a video of my brother in law and his daughter pretending to be 'retards' as they so eloquently put it.
What the hell is a matter with everyone?!?!
Im extremely upset. This makes me want to eat, because that's what I do when I'm upset. I don't plan to, I've got a plan, I can stick to it. But I hate feeling this way. I wouldn't change my sister for the world, but I wish I could change the world for her.
Diet Calendar Entries for 03 December 2013:
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1505 kcal
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Fat: 39.76g | Prot: 87.21g | Carb: 179.35g.
Breakfast: Quaker Instant Oatmeal - High Fiber Cinnamon Swirl, Coffee-Mate Fat Free Original Liquid Coffee Creamer. Lunch: Turkey Meat (Cooked, Roasted), Great Value Whole Wheat Bread, Boiled Sweetpotato (without Peel). Dinner: Crock Pot Sweet Potato Casserole, Turkey Meat (Cooked, Roasted). Snacks/Other: Chocolate Cupcake with Icing or Filling, Crystal Light Crystal Light on the Go Sugar Free packets, Egg, Egg White. more...
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2615 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Driving - 1 hour, Housework - 1 hour, Resting - 14 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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 Comments
((((hugs)))) Yolanda....I know how you feel!! I read things like that in the paper here and just want to cry!! I don't understand how anyone can be so nasty toward someone who is different than they are!! I still get kids that comment within hearing distance of me, making nasty comments about me and my scooter. It hurts, and makes me so angry I just want to take them over my knee and give them a good old fashioned spanking!!!
There are just so many people out there that do things and say things without thinking!!! Absolutely no consideration for anyone!! I'm so glad you have a plan to deal with your upset. I hate feeling that way too.!
03 Dec 13 by member: pumakitten
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Don't get me started.... I feel the same way about many things these days. People are mean creatures.... it is part of our psychology. We look for similar others and create in groups and out groups and that is how the brain seems to work. From infantcy we see differences in people. That is what bothers me so much about all the bullying stuff. Humans have bullied each other for ever and it will never stop. All we can do is teach tolerance and train ourselves how to interact with others. So much of it all is enhanced now due to social media..... But honestly, all that takes work and thought. The sad thing is that most parents (certainly not all) don't take the time to really think about these things and teach kids much less act right themselves. It is just so pervasive.... I don't understand why they don't use the brains God gave them and THINK about what they are thinking. Maybe I am just too much of an egghead or something
I totally get how people can behave the way they do. it is inherent in our minds to have these reactions. What i don't get is how an intelligent spieces has not learned how to temper these things. Adults should know better if they have a brain in their heads or maybe I should say a heart. And really - on facebook??!!!! how ignorant. how hurtful.
What i don't get is how people can have so little self awareness. My Father in Law is really able to push my buttons. He and I are apparently from opposite planets or something. I know that I am a human and i will have thoughts that are not what I want them to me. I work to limit those thoughts and extinguish predjudice from my life. I know I am not special and not better than anyone in the world regardless of their mental or physical or empotional or financial challenges. He works to increase his prejudice. I HATE that.
03 Dec 13 by member: alexzwk
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Oh and I know I can't type.... especially when I am on a tirade :) Can't spell either
03 Dec 13 by member: alexzwk
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Disabilities along with other issues are neglected, ignored and made fun of. Until it happens to them. Then we hear, boohoo, I blah blah blah blah. Two issues near and dear to my heart are stem cells and medical marijuana. A young girl has seizures almost non-stop, but the marijuana calms them. The politicians don't think it's right because they claim the mother wants it for herself, possibly to sell it, or will make the girl an addict. Seems compassion is a thing of the past.
03 Dec 13 by member: ClassicRocker
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03 Dec 13 by member: millerm40
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I'm sorry that people are so rude to you puma!! That's unacceptable in every way!!! Alex, I disagree that we are hard wired to segregate. Most children won't think twice about playing with a child who is different, I really think the discrimination is taught, perhaps inadvertently by parents who really ought to know better. Most of the time it's unintentional, that's just our society. I am no saint. Like you, I think thoughts that I wish would never pop into my head. I work with people with disabilities, frustrating can be putting it lightly some days. Like you said though, we use our brains and make intelligent and well thought out opinions and decisions. Sorry to hear about your Father in law being such a dip shit, I guess there are plenty of them out there. Classic, I agree. There is no compassion, no common decency. It's sad. Mean people do suck, and it makes me sick. I'm glad that I have some supporters here, because I'll tell you what, if anybody I know agrees with me they don't have the conjones to say It on facebook. I have posted about this on FB, and I also commented my two cents on the article that started all of this. Evil wins when good people say nothing. I've never been good at keeping my mouth shut anyway.
03 Dec 13 by member: Annabelle3117
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Sometimes I feel bad for keeping my mouth shut. but I know that you can't fix stupid and sometimes I just don't have the energy to try or have the will to put my head out there. I am glad that you do. I get things all the time on FB that I disagree with. I know almost all my FB friends and I know that they are not bad people. But I get this crap that is totally not what I believe or support. I keep quiet because I don't want to argue. But they keep posting it. I ended up deleting one of my friends. I decided that the more of that I heard the less I was going to like him. The thing is - I don't post stuff that I support when I know that it is a 'hot button' issue. I don't want to upset anyone and I don't want to force my beliefs down someones throat. But by golly they do it.
And you are correct about kids. I was only citing Psychology studies/theory. It is interesting how a stigma develops and how they are processed within individuals and society. Plenty of smarter folks than me have made careers with that crap :) My point is that it is natural to notice what is different and natural to process that difference. It is not natural (I hope) to be mean to another due to that difference.
03 Dec 13 by member: alexzwk
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I know what you mean about people going crazy on facebook with their beliefs. I'm with you, live and let live. I too have deleted friends because they made me dislike them with their posts. Most of the time I just unsubscribe to their newsfeed so I don't see it anymore. I'm very opinionated but I choose my battles wisely and would never argue hot button issues like religion or abortion or god forbid politics! People are nuts!. Generally speaking I'm very non confrontational but that article and my crap BIL struck a nerve. Gotta learn how to get past it though, for the time being I like my husband (lol) in laws come with the package... like a nasty side effect.
03 Dec 13 by member: Annabelle3117
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Yo, you're cracking me up again... "a nasty side effect"? LMAO!
03 Dec 13 by member: millerm40
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I am dealing with a nasty side effect right now. I so hope there is a cream for it..... I think they call this an STD :)
03 Dec 13 by member: alexzwk
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Alex... should I be asking what that stands for???
03 Dec 13 by member: ClassicRocker
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I joined facebook several years ago. Hung in there for a little while and closed the account. Again, encouraged by relatives, I joined. Family members only was what would be safe. Or so I thought. OMG... they're crazy and the things they say for the world to see. Two weeks. That was it. No more.
03 Dec 13 by member: ClassicRocker
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Wow! What is wrong with people! Maybe instead of trying to get them out of town they should pitch in and help them out. Poor family. I can't imagine being that mom, elderly, and trying to care for your sons, then having all of this criticism. I can see why you are frustrated.
03 Dec 13 by member: mars2kids
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The thing that gets to me is - people are so far on the extremes of issues. It is like they don't think at all. We need a better mental health system. We treat people like animals in so many ways. That lady needs help. Those men need help. They don't need to be degraded. But we pretend that they don't exist and then criticise them or incarcerate them when they do stuff we don't like. Can you imagine being 70 years old and worrying about what is going to happen to your sons when you die or can't take care of them? I have no kids so I know how difficult it is to think about getting old. it is a worry. But to be older and have kids that you have to worry about... that must be a terrible burden
03 Dec 13 by member: alexzwk
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You hit it right on the head mars, people should want to help and be outraged that adult services is not doing their job instead of criticizing and hating. CR, I stay on FB because I do know some good people (surprisingly enough). I don't post anything there that I wouldn't post here, and I'm so open... what you see is what you get. I wish everyone was more true to themselves. Alex, I wouldn't say burden because having a child with special needs can be extremely rewarding, however it is absolutely tragic. My Aunt on my father's side of the family has Down's Syndrome. My grandmother took care of her by herself well into her eighties. Now my other aunt has taken on the full responsibility of caring for her, my grandma is 94 and still clinging to life. More concerned about the well being of her daughter than herself or anything else. The love my grandmother has for her daughter, there are no words to describe it. It's very sad, and my biggest fear is that that situation will some day be my own reality. My sister is fourteen, immobile, non verbal and has down syndrome. When my mom can no longer care for her... then what? Will I become my aunt in this scenario? I cross bridges when I get to them though, so I'll worry about that another day.
04 Dec 13 by member: Annabelle3117
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