lotus2009's Journal, 11 December 2010

Oh Anita, I'm so sorry. I do not know your BF, but I'd say you'd have to take his words seriously. Losing a relationship you've had since 2008 will be difficult, as I can sense from your words that you care for him very deeply. Do trust in God that He will help you get through this situation. God is always working on things in your favor but remember that we don't always get the answers or solutions we'd like. God knows what's best for us even though we'd like to believe WE have all the answers and know exactly where our life should go! Perhaps God would like you to show that you're a strong independent woman who only clings to Him when stressed? In any event, go on and embrace your life to the fullest for now and don't look back, waiting for something with this BF to happen. It may or may not. And, on another topic...congrat's on dropping more weight. You're almost over your previous roadblock at 155! 

Anita, you mus trust in God, and if He means for your boyfriend to return to you, he will....if he doesn't then God has someone better in mind for you. I truly hope that your gut feeling proves true, but if not, then know that He has a better plan for you. And perhaps the reason that you feel so light is because you know that no matter what, God is watching over you! May you ahve a wonderful day, filled with the love and light of God, and knowing that no matter what happens in your life, He loves you and you are special to Him. The only thing that you can do is wait! 

Sandy and Stef.Thank you for replies.I so deeply believe he never stopped loving me and nothing is happening in between him and his ex.I absolutely know God wont let me be hurt again.I went through a series of bad relationships and this man made me trust in love again.It may sound stupid but I have a very strong positive feeling that nothing bad will happen and he loves me though is speaking nonsense for now.He simply can't get involved with any other woman.I'm over thirty and not a teen girl any more.When you are young you tend to believe the world will shutter if your special someone abandones you and walks away...Its not the case here...After being decieved and betrayed many times,when I got into this relationship,I told myself,'okay,this is my last attempt to be happy.Either him or none.I wont look for happiness anymore if I get hurt again.' I was absolutely serious when I said that and I meant it.I love him and want him to be faithful to me and love me in any circumstances.Isn't it what true love is?And over and above I truly trust God,He was faithful before,He gave me things for which I prayed wholeheartedly,He will be faithful again.Yes God loves me.And I know the man whom I love investing whole of me wont go anywhere from me...He will stay faithful.I keep praying that devil doesnt mess up his brain and faithfulness to me.I keep praying he resists all advances from whomever and returns to my love.My heart tells me he loves me and nothing and nobody can separate him from my love.I'm not restless.Just I don't know what to do?Believe the gut feeling or the reasoning?I don't know. 

It seems kind of wrong to break up with some one on yahoo? wrong and shady. I hope your right about him making it up to test you, but then again, is that really a grown up thing to do? You might feel so light about it, because maybe deep inside you know its not meant to be? If he is gone for good, then just have faith and don't give up on love or yourself. You sound like a really caring and good person. My mom always says when one door closes , another opens. Good luck. You should devote this time to yourself . :)  

It seems kind of wrong to break up with some one on yahoo? wrong and shady. I hope your right about him making it up to test you, but then again, is that really a grown up thing to do? You might feel so light about it, because maybe deep inside you know its not meant to be? If he is gone for good, then just have faith and don't give up on love or yourself. You sound like a really caring and good person. My mom always says when one door closes , another opens. Good luck. You should devote this time to yourself . :)  

redgirl-Me and my bf live thousand kilometers apart,in two different countries.But it didn't interfere with me having most fulfilling relationship I ever had in my life.We see each other few times a year.So all our communication is on internet and phone.And about doors opening and closing,I don't want to close this door for him and open for anyone else.I want to share intimate personal relationship only with this man alone and I really know we are meant to be together and I feel like I prayed and God heard and accepted my prayer.Its not that I feel light because this relationship didn't mean anything to me and I felt its not meant to happen,I really love him and waiting for his love.I don't know what life has in store for me.But I have no doubt he can't love any other woman...I might sound crazy but thats what I feel. 

I sense your earnest desire in maintaining your relationship. I am sorry you are facing such a dilema right now. It is aparent that your faith is strong; cling to that. I must encourage you, friend, to correct your thinking regarding God's love for you as it relates to pain and suffering. You said, "God won't let me be hurt again." While that is our hope, oftentimes, it is just not accurate, as God uses the painful circumstances in our lives to mold us and make us into the person who He has designed us to be - if we let Him. Pain is a part of life. Just because we love God with all our hearts does not guarantee He will ban pain and distress from our lives - He does, however, promise to be with us and to carry us thru when we are going thru difficult times. Jesus said, "In this life you shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." John 16:33 "Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me: you will stretch forth your hand and save me." Psalms 138:7 "For the Lord will not cast us off forever: But though He allows grief (into our lives), yet will He have compassion according to the multitude of His mercies. For he does not willingly cause us to become afflicted nor grieve." Lamentations 3:31-33 2 Timothy 2:3 reminds us to "endure suffering as good soldiers of Jesus Christ." Furthermore, there are wonderful verses in 2 Corinthians 1 and in James which remind us to be patient in our suffering, as it builds our character and develops our ministry and testimony before others. Anita, it is best to pray about this situation and turn it over into God's hands - let His will be done. God knows what is best for you - I remember the devestation I felt when my fiancee' was killed - he was shot, murdered by an evil man. I thought I could not go on. I felt like could never love again - part of me died that day. Little did I know, that a few years later I would meet a man who would love me and be attentive and caring - and who would show me the love of God every single day. Amidst the pain and devastation, God still had a plan - Romans 8:8 is a PROMISE that HE works everything out for our good, for those who love God and are the called according to His purpose. Release your BF to God - focus on yourself right now; and your devotion to God, the Lover of your Soul; the author and finisher of your faith. If your BF returns, praise the Lord. If he does not, praise the Lord, because HE has JEWEL-of-a-man waiting for you in a new chapter of your life. I'm praying peace for your soul, my sister.  

I am sorry. I hope it works out for you. The best of luck to you. You sound like you really know what want out of life. I didn't realize you were having a long distance relationship. I wish I was as sure about things as you are. Its a great trait to have. No wonder he fell for you!!  

You said, "He simply can't get involved with any other woman." Unfortunately for you, he CAN get involved with another woman if he wants to, it is completely beyond your control. What if you continue waiting for this man & he never makes himself available to you? Will you really waste your whole life waiting? Does someone who truly loves & respects you tell you he doesn't want to be with you & wants to go back to his ex? And if he IS lying about that, as you say, then why would he say this to you? This is nothing but manipulation. There is just no valid reason to say those things to someone you love & respect. Period. No one will ever treat you better than you treat yourself, & the way the people in your life treat you is a mirror of how you treat yourself. All I know about this situation is what you have shared here, but based on that, this guy does not sound like someone who aspires to help you feel good about yourself. You should think about that. Good luck. 

I'm a firm believer in if something is meant to be, it will. If not, then there is something better out on the horizon for you. Take care of yourself and don't put your life on hold waiting for anyone. Life is too short.  

Evie1010- Thank you very much for your comment.Holy verses pour peace on to my heart.I praise Lord and believe that He will make the man I love come back to me.I know God is testing me through trials but I firmly believe He will answer my prayers in a positive way and very soon I will see a sign of my prayer being accepted and good things happening...What if God forbids,my man doesn't return?I firmly decided to love him all my love,being around him and never getting involved with any other man. It may sound crazy,but this is what I want in this life.Him,his love,being his family and nothing else.I'm so sorry for your loss when your bf was shot dead,but this is altogether a different story.Please sister pray that Almighty haves kindness on my soul and I have my man back to me. 

Redgirl,Thank you once again for your comments.Please pray for me from your heart.Cause prayers and God's intervention is the last resort I have to make things good again.Please pray for me.I need this man to come back to me.Please pray for me.Please. 

Kstubblefield-I said 'He can't get involved with any other woman' because I trust him and believe that he wont walk out from my overwhelming love.And yes I will spend my life waiting for him,no matter when he returns,cause I deeply love him and true love never gives up,never gives in,it endures and waits and prays to God and miracles happen.I really love him with this kind of love that is ready for sacrifices,I love him more than I love myself.I feel like he is doing this because he wants to change my attitude of clingyness and insecurity and he is doing this with a good purpose,not because he decided to leave me.I keep praying God for this man says he loves me again as his woman and I believe God wont deprive me of the only thing I prayed for.Please sister pray for me.I have no other thing except God for me now. 

Suzie,You are right what is meant to happen,will happen anyway.And yes life is short.And I want to dedicate my life in loving this man.I will do everything else in my life except seeking any other man for love,family and kids.I know if I love wholeheartedly,without asking no pay backs in return he will surely change and will be back to me and my love.I know God will control the situation and will make me win cause its not my battle but God's.God wont let devil to trick my man into betrayal and hurting me.He will save our love,save our relationship,save my heartache.I know God is with me and inside me.I know He will bring my man back into my life even with more love and passion that before.I'm waiting on God with trust and excitement.I know if you believe He wont let you down.