sealion's Journal, 06 December 2010

I know this will make me sound like I'm a jealous person but jealousy is one of the feelings a human possesses. I just gotta admit that I have disturbing emotions even though they ... well ... make me kinda like a loser lol.

I don't hate my sister but she always makes me feel very diffident.

She is stick thin. She doesn't eat much. She is hardworking and successful. She always picks my flaws. Even her fiancee will say that I'm chubby. Also, the fiancee's twin brother will be like," Singaporean guys like skinny girls."

When I was 13 years old, "You are chubby and no boys will like you when you grow up," she said. That line made me feel really not confident about myself since then and eventually I'm very self-obsessed (now).

She makes me stress out because I feel like I'm not good enough for everything. When I go on diet, she will strike a pose saying "awesome people like me do not need to go on diet and we just stay thin and healthy". When I binge, she will give me this face indicating that I'm such a pig. T__T

I'm not comfortable with my emotion now because it's a bit not right to get jealous of your own sis.

Okie, I should suck it up and be tough on my own game. :)

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1201 kcal

Fat: 44.65g | Prot: 39.32g | Carb: 151.55g.   Breakfast: Butter, Helga's Sliced Pumpkin Five Seed Bread. Lunch: butter, Helga's Sliced mixed grain bread. Dinner: Shortcake (Biscuit Type), Egg (Whole), Spinach, Milo Tonic Food Drink, mango. more...

1584 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Sitting - 8 hours, Sleeping - 6 hours, Resting - 9 hours and 40 minutes, Walking (brisk) - 4/mph - 20 minutes. more...