|
https://www.omnicalculator.com/health/body-fat
according to the link above, with all of the information I give it, i have 38 lbs of fat still.
so- 129.6 - 38 = 91.6 : my ultimate minimum. I can't do any less than that. I can always strive for less, but never less than 91.6.
in 1964 the Hamwi formula stated someone of my height should be 115 lbs
in 1974 the Devine formula stated someone of my height should be 116 lbs
in 1983 the Robinson formula stated someone of my height should be 119 lbs
in 1983 the Miller formula stated someone of my height should be 126 lbs
in 2016 the Peterson formula stated someone of my height should be 124 lbs
America has gotten acceptably heavier and heavier- I am not even in the range of any of those yet.
so here my stomach grumbles.
10:37am and shall grumble until at least noon.
at noon I will weigh myself even though I told myself I wouldn't today- then I will finally permit myself to drink at least 2 cups of cold water and grapes for breakfast
peach cobbler for lunch
for dinner- hopefully I can convince then into leftovers or something healthy
after I finish my homework I will go on a walk
my boyfriend- unknowing of my eating disorder activities, talks often of calories and how little or how much eats- it actually makes me feel less alone. I try so hard not to talk about food and to hide my problem. But when I can talk about food- what I want even if I don't eat it, how I feel about what I eat, how much water I drink- when i can help someone else eat and drink healthier too, or at least listen to them talk about food, it makes me feel better. I feel more comfortable eating. I feel less guilty eating. Because it becomes something socially normalized. Growing up we see tabloids shaming men and women- teens and children even- for their weight. Front covers plastered with the next fad diet. People make comments about our own body over time. Guilt, shaming, dieting- they become normalized. Health, self-care, self-love, being able to eat a meal, any meal, with a positive mind set- is denormalized. I know they say talking about food can sometimes be bad for eds, but it feels so good to release, feel comfortable, eat a meal, drink tea with out adding up the calories of every single thing I ate, drank, or added to something.
a rule I have for myself.- if i was on the phone with him, if he bought me that snack, if I ate with or in front of him- I am not allowed to count the calories.
he does not shame me. he does not make me feel bad. he reminds me how to take care of myself. he makes me feel good. I hope I do the same for him, I only hope he suffers less.
on another note, I have been lying to my mo on about how much weight I have been losing. she thought I had only lost 20lbs this year. maybe that's all it looks like. I started around 165 this year, now I'm at 129. she thinks I'm at 135. i let my start weight slip the other day and she was like "...so you've actually lost 30 pounds..." and I was like 'well, I mean, about, but like rounding' LIKE WHY DID I HAVE TO DO THAT. SHE'S GONNA THROW ME IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL. I don't need that rn. And that since the beginning of 2020, if we are looking at 1 whole year, my start weight was like 172. I'm down like 40+ lbs. I want more. I still have so much fat on me. I can still be prettier. I just need to do better and work harder at everything and I will get there.
work harder at school.
work
cleaning
working out
eating right
keeping hygienic
looking good
driving and getting my liscense
being perfect.
129.2
22.06
update: I threw up. I had dinner and then a Donut and then I threw up. it wasn't even that much. ugh.
|
129.2 lb
Lost so far: 55.0 lb.
Still to go: 0 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
|
Diet Calendar Entry for 25 August 2020:
|
460 kcal
|
Fat: 26.28g | Prot: 8.35g | Carb: 45.26g.
Dinner: Lettuce, Daisy Sour Cream, Tostitos Medium Salsa, Tomatoes, Onions , Black Olives, Kraft Sharp Cheddar Cheese , Wal-Mart 6" Flour Tortillas. Snacks/Other: Dunkin' Donuts Maple Frosted Donut. more...
|
losing 2.8 lb a week
|