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Well ... I may be back. I'm out of town, again. Busy, busy, busy lately. But that isn't really the primary reason for my absence. Let's say the events of the past year may have caught up with me. I think with the recent addition of new responsibilities, exciting as they may be, I reached overload. Probably wouldn't have reached overload quite so quickly but add to the mix ... my husband's struggles of late and I reverted to old automatic pilot.
So ... kindness ... remembering that this my life is process not product and I will indeed NEVER be "done" has become important to pay attention to lately. I never forgot the kindness ... just not so effective in its practice.
This week begins remembering to take care of myself. I have meetings out of town Tuesday and Wednesday, returning home Wednesday night. Thursday and Friday are very busy work days ... I'll likely not be here every day ... mostly due to being busy.
I have not weighed in a little while. Not as long as it looks here on fatsecret but it has probably been a couple of weeks. Some of my size 12's are a little snugger than I remember but not bad. I missed some exercise too .... back in the groove there as well.
I began to think ... what's the point. Long story ... not sure I should tell it here. The point is that I feel better when I take care of myself. The point is that I deserve to feel well.
I was on my elliptical on Sunday listening to my ipod ... Eric Clapton - Tears in Heaven. I listened to it more than once. You may think I am strange but I started to see my beloved dogs who have come and gone out of my life as I listened to the words and music. Then I saw human loved ones ... holding my hand, understanding, smiling ... no tears in heaven. Quite a collection, Chester my beagle, Max a beautiful dobie puppy who died much too young, Abraham our Dalmatian, Khan my alpha male dobie, Caitlin ... my sweet red Dobie girl ... my favorite grandmother, my father at his best, my grandfathers, my mother-in-law, my father-in-law, my nana. I choose where to let my brain rest. While circumstances certainly are not ideal in my life ... I can still take care of me. I don't know ... it may sound strange to you ... but it was incredibly comforting to me.
So, here I am ... in a nice hotel room. Ate in (Lean Cuisine and Corona Light!!), a pilates workout on Exercise TV and writing a journal entry. Tomorrow I hope to get up in time to work out in the exercise room before a day full of meetings. Time to wrap it up, get some shut eye, and dream sweet dreams.
Oh I forgot to mention the return of the night time hot flashes!!! Good grief ... up every hour or two??? So sleep deprivation certainly has impacted me as well.
Sorry for my absence. Thank you so much, those of you who have taken the time to comment, PM me, I so appreciate it. G'night my friends!
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 Comments
Moose ... Wow, "I began to think....what's the point? Long story...not sure I should tell it here. The point is that I feel better when I take care of myself. The point is I deserve to feel well." This seems to go right along with Body Bliss's bio when she said this is a "live-it not a Di-et". I have been eating up a lot of words of wisdom lately and truly appreciate my connections here on F.S. TOWANDA!!!
01 Nov 10 by member: Lisa Online
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This is a "live-it," not a "die-t." This is how she phrased it, isn't it great? TOWANDA!!!
01 Nov 10 by member: Lisa Online
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Glad to see you back around. There is always a point in taking care of yourself. Sometimes, it is the only thing you can do.
01 Nov 10 by member: k8yk
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Carol, I am so sorry that you are struggling. We all have times in our lives that are ebb times and I suspect that you are just in an ebb. It is so hard sometimes to figure out what causes these things, and sometimes we never figure it out. We can only ride it out and wait for the ebb to turn around and become the flow again! You appear to have turned the corner and are now back into the flow side again. Have a good trip and continue to practice kindness toward yourself. And when you are back in the flow of things we will be here. Have a great week!
01 Nov 10 by member: ctlss
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I should have known you would be having a hard time too! Keep smiling and being kind :)
02 Nov 10 by member: flaxseed
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Hi Carol, wish I had something pithy to say that would make you smile and 'click' you back to 'normal'. Like Stef said, ebb and flow. You know how to do this, you know especially that you need to look after yourself, not just because everybody else needs you (which they do) but because you need you. If you have time to read some of your old journals to see the wonderful journey you have come on, and how much you have grown in your thinking - you need to get rid of the 'stinking thinking' and start loving yourself again. You feel better at a lower weight. But if that's not doable right now just try to maintain and maintain your love to yourself. You so deserve to feel healthy and nourished and cared for. We here who love you can help with that part but you have to believe it too, that you are worthy of all this love we pour out for you. Take heart, whatever is going on will pass, it always does. I hope your dear husband is well, and that your mum is enjoying her retirement. Our hearts and thoughts are with you.
02 Nov 10 by member: sarahsmum
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Ah Moose....Just dropping by to say Hi and let you know I am thinking about you. I hope all settles and you find yourself in your happy place again soon.
Sometimes just taking care of ourselves is the most we can ask for. AND the most important job there is.
I have to say I love Lisa's Live it...not die t....
heres to brighter days!
02 Nov 10 by member: Klannoye
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Hope you have a good week and feel good, and I don't think anything sounds strange. I don't know you, but I think letting your mind go where it wants helps us not repress the emotions our body needs to feel. Wishing you the best!
02 Nov 10 by member: MrsMtkr
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Thank you Klannoye but that wonderful quote came from Body Bliss who is a very wise buddy. This is a Live it, not die t. I am sure she doesn't mind that I am sharing her great quote:) TOWANDA!!!!
02 Nov 10 by member: Lisa Online
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Aw Moose I hope you find your Happy Groove again soon! Life sure is a bumpy rollercoaster sometimes but you are worth it! And all your FS buddies are here for you to lean on :)
02 Nov 10 by member: Junebug7210
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Oh boy, I am so glad to see your post. Just got on tonight and there you were. I really can understand the highs and lows, the goods and bads, the scary times and good times, the days we eat ourself silly and the days we eat so healthy. Sometimes in our lives, it is so overwhelming, we get to a point that says STOP! So, we stop, give it a break then gradually, start drifting back into that zone we know is safe and good for us. I know when it is the right time, you will be getting back into your comfort zones and things will be good again. We love you Moose, your great advice, your awesome writing skills and that wonderful grateful list that I love to read everyday. We are ready whenever you are. Take your time, and be well. See you soon.
02 Nov 10 by member: The Next Number
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Hey, I think it's some zodiac thing going on, because a lot of people I know are having a bad week! I think sometimes the only point is the one that is happening right now - no future, no past, just what am I doing right now and is it RIGHT, now? Not easy to remember to be kind, but you definitely deserve that especially from yourself!
02 Nov 10 by member: abbadabba
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That song brings tears to my eyes, every time! Take care Moose, take as much time as you need, unfortunately we aren't next to you to really get the vibe if you need us or not, or more. So please, make sure you come back (or stay on track) before its too late. You have worked so very hard for yourself! You have come a very long way, physically and emotionally, please remember kindness and portion control! hahah Love the idea of a corona w/ the LC!
03 Nov 10 by member: cindyshine
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Hi Moose, just stopping by to say hello. I'll bet your weather is getting colder now. Ours has dipped some and will do so more this weekend (Florida). Fortunately, we get so little cold air, we love it! Stay warm and be good to yourself. Miss ya, but take it easy. Come back when you can. Barbara
04 Nov 10 by member: The Next Number
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Hey Carol, how goes it? I'm working really hard to get to goal by Thanksgiving. Had issues for 2-3 days with Halloween candy ~ BLAH ~ but that's over now so back to business. Hope this finds you and yours well. Stay warm.
06 Nov 10 by member: The Next Number
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Hi Moose, just wishing you a great Sunday and hope you could relax and enjoy. We had a cloudy cool day today so I made a Ziti dish for tomorrow (hubby made chicken on the grill today), paid bills and cleaned up some piled up paper work. All in all it was a productive day. Good day for inside chores. Hope you are well and also hope we hear from you soon. Enjoy the week Moose.
07 Nov 10 by member: The Next Number
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Hey, Carol, hope that your weekend was good and that you are feeling more like your old self. Have a great week, and as Barbara said, hope to hear from you soon!!
07 Nov 10 by member: ctlss
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Thinking about you,..Towanda!!
08 Nov 10 by member: Lisa Online
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MOOSE I saw this post and thought about you:)
FS Community, you need to read this for ENCOURAGEMENT.
YOU CAN LEARN A LOT FROM A GOOSE
Milton Olson has studied Canada geese and compiled these lessons:
1. Geese fly in a V formation for greater range of the entire flock. As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for the bird following. This adds seventy-one percent to their flying range than if one bird was flying alone. LESSON: People who share a sense of common direction and community get where they are going quicker and easier.
2. When the goose falls out of formation it feels the resistance of flying alone and quickly gets back into formation. LESSON: Stay in the the company with those headed in the direction you want to go.
3. When the lead goose gets tired another goose takes the point position. LESSON: It pays to take turns doing hard tasks and sharing leadership. (For us at FS, everyone should pitch in and offer encouragement and support, not solely relying on the same ppl to do it for the masses. Don't be a sponge and soak it all up - give some back, too. smile)
4. The geese in formation honk to encouarge the lead goose. LESSON: Be sure your honking is helpful.
5. When a goose gets sick or wounded two geese fall out of formation and follow it to the ground and protect it. They stay until their companion dies or is able to fly again and then launch out to catch up with the flock. LESSON: Stand by each other in difficult times.
I thought this was such a blessing and wanted to share. I've heard it said "There is no better exercise for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up. ~ John A Holmer" That's the kind of person I want to be in life...to everyone in my sphere of influence, including my cyber buddies. I'm HONKING for YOU today!
11 Nov 10 by member: Lisa Online
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Lisa, these are great lessons for us all; I am printing this. Moose, we miss you terribly. I sure hope all is well. Can you just stop in for a minute and say hi? Lesson #2 of the above applies.
11 Nov 10 by member: The Next Number
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