JMA312's Journal, 25 July 2013

ohhhh I was a bad girl today. HEY after 5 (close to 6 weeks Monday) IT IS OK, Joyce! Stuff happens. I know I shouldn't make light of it and maybe I shouldn't say it is "OK" But that is what I'm going to do. After all the only one I have to 'answer' to is ME! So what, I'm not a robot, I'm not a computer, I'm not a thing that can be programmed to do this stupid strict diet plan I adopted for long periods of time with little outcome. Yeah, 4 pounds in 5 + weeks, uh no weight loss in almost the first 4 weeks, gained 10 pounds in a year! EEEKKKKK. Ok, Ok, if you are reading, please don't judge me. My body/metabolism has always had a high tolerance to loosing weight. My EX use to tell me that it made me a good person for if we ever had a food shortage, I would probably survive since I don't loose weight fast! Gee thanks dear....But seriously, I need a break and today I did BREAK IT. But there is just so much stress in my life. Even after my dad passed away in April it still feels like it is all hovering over me. Sometimes I really wonder if I will survive. Being the prime 24/7 caregiver of my mom (I'm too old to have a '2 yr old') AND a full time job that pays minimum wage AND bills AND ....etc etc. I know everyone has their cross to bare, but this is mine and I'm very, very tired.
I will be ok though, I will go to sleep tonight (eventually) get up tomorrow (if not in through the night with mom) at between 4 and 5AM. Go to work (bringing her) to be there at 8am to 5pm then bring her home and do it all again. OH tomorrow is Friday so Saturday and Sunday I get to have her ALL THE TIME. EEEKKKKKKKK. I'm tired......
SIDE NOTE: I did get in touch with the health dude that gave me the diet and supplements to take. His store cancelled my consult yesterday and I was upset about that, but anyway I don't know if I will keep with HIS diet. I may still take some of the supplements but not all of them (too expensive) I may go back to Atkins we'll see. Any suggestions?

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