msamy034's Journal, 06 October 2010

Amy - I am just so sorry you and your honey are dealing with soooo much! Please know that to honor yourself and focus on you and him right now, is all that you can do. I will be praying for you both. Love. 

Oh, Amy, I am so sorry that you and your dh are going through this, especially after just going through the chemo for the liver. I know that you aren't religious, but I will say some serious prayers for both of you! Sometimes life just isn't fair! One positive is that it is radiation, rather than chemo . My mom and dad have both had to undergo radiation for their cancers, and while it is hard, it isn't as bad as the chemo. Take care of yourself too, Amy. I know it is hard when you are so worried about your dh, but try. We are right here if you need us. 

I do appreciate the prayers and thoughts, I really do. I know they work in mysterious ways :) I think coming here is a good therapy for me too...I am totally addicted and can't seem to live without my FS buddies lol 

I am sorry for all you are dealing with, stay positive, and just keep moving on one day at a time, thats all you can do, those that are religious will be praying for you both 

Just to clarify-when I say I am not religious, I don't mean I don't believe in it-I mean I don't think it is fair for me to pray only when things are bad...like a fair weather friend if you know what I mean. I do think there are higher powers and praying is a good thing. I just need to learn a good balance. 

Amy, you do have a lot of stress on your plate! I hope you'll keep us posted so we can support you every step of the way. helen 

some times in life we are tested and tests are usually very hard pushing us past our normal limits. as far as your purpose in life maybe the test is to demonstrate the strength of your marriage? and what you are willing to learn to deal with. it is always hard to deal with pain of a loved one but in the end he will know you love him enough to fight and that you took your vowels seriously in sickness and in health i am rooting for ya and wishing strenght and peace of mind your way! 

Having been through 9 months of chemo and 25 sessions of radiology for breast cancer (I also had 15 lymph noads infected) I know just how your husband must feel. Despite having a very loving family, I felt so lonely, it was hard to share. For my husband and family, it was tough, they were on the outside looking in and they felt hopeless and useless. They obviously weren't. But it is so very hard. I have always thought myself to be a lapsed Christian but until we both pushed our problems out to God/The Universe did we manage to get strength to cope, somehow it felt our problems were being dealt with for us. My problems are now 9 years behind me without any further trace. It feels like opting out, but when you do push your worries to Jesus/God/Buddah or to Mother Nature, we feel we can cope. Our thoughts are with you and wishing you and yours all the very best.  

Thanks Jen. I know he has had really bad days and some ok days. We have a wonderful marriage and we each know when the ohter needs space or just a hug. I am so thankful for that! Congrats to you on having made it through such a tough time. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and went through some radical treatments and is now 6 months free and clear. I wish I could figure out just how to push my worries to some other diety than myself-not that I am a diety-you know what I mean :) 

Amy, it is almost impossible to provide you the support you need in just a text box. But there is a lot of good people here willing to help in any way they can. So pleased your Mum is doing good. Big hugs from me x 

msamy...my thoughts are with you and your husband. Please know we are all pulling for you. Hugs to ya, hun. :) 

Amy, I know exactly how you feel about only praying when things are bad, but prayers come in many forms. They aren't all formal, "Dear God" types of things. When you say you are thankful for a pretty day, for your husband, for your children, for your grandchildren, for your home, for the food, even when you don't say Dear God I am thankful, He still knows your heart. And believe me, when we need Him most, that is when He is most happy to hear from us! So pray, ask God to help you carry this load. He won't mind in the least. It makes Him feel good when we come to Him with our problems, because He is our Father, and like any Father, He loves His children, and wants to help us. Sorry, don't mean to sermonize, I just don't want you to feel that you can't ask God for help, just because you haven't been talking to Him on a regular basis. Believe me, I didn't talk to Him for years, then, when I really, really needed Him, and I asked Him for help, He helped! I am still amazed when I think about it! Take care, dear buddy. God does hear our prayers, and there are lots of people praying for you and your hubby!