CosmoQueen's Journal, 31 May 2013

When I added it all up, I still stayed under my calorie allowance yesterday. Yet, I feel guilty. I didn't need that burger last night. I shouldn't have eaten it. I will do better today; maybe even try only having liquids. Only eating liquids always makes me feel better about myself.

I tried looking at myself in the mirror yesterday and really seeing myself. I couldn't though. On one hand I could see my collar bones, my hip bones and a few others, but on the other hand I could see my stomach fat, and that strange fat you get right in between your boob and armpit. The image kept changing for a split second I could see thin; then I would look again and I looked pudgey. I eventually gave up. When I reach 98lbs I'll try again. I'm sure I will be able to see myself as thin and pretty and perfect then.

I will be drinking tonight. I almost always black out when I drink. This time though I won't. Maybe 3-4 shots throughout the night or 1-2 mixed drinks but no more. I do not need the calories and sugar.