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I thought I would post about a light bulb moment I had last night while in the water doing aerobics!
As I was holding on to the edge of the pool, doing our kicking sprint for 2 minutes straight, I decided to say a little prayer about my desire to lose weight. I really want to commit to losing weight. I want to lose weight so badly that I can taste it and yet I haven’t been able to harness my own self-discipline and put it to good use. I began to wonder why… I decided that I need to turn this over to God. I want to be a winner in the battle of the bulge. My own efforts are not working, obviously. I give myself too many excuses and exceptions to the rule.
As I finished my little prayer, I realized something. Or, should I say God pointed something out to me. A few years ago, I had a mission. It was a mission to get pregnant. I tried anything and everything. I finally got pregnant and within a few weeks had a miscarriage. It was through that miscarriage I found out I have PCOS and low progesterone levels. Once I found this out about myself, I began to research PCOS and progesterone like a mad woman. With every new thing I learned, I applied as much as I could to my life. I knew, deep down, that even losing weight would increase my chances of conceiving. I even joined the Curves weight loss program and ate a high protein/low carb diet for a couple of months. I was willing to do whatever it took to get pregnant. It took about two more years before I was FINALLY SUCCESSFUL! I DID IT! I actually achieved success through my own efforts. I had never realized, until last night, that I had claimed victory over that ‘problem’.
Why can’t I do that again?
I decided last night that I need to harness that same drive and create myself a new ‘mission’ to lose weight. I refuse to allow a heart attack be my wake up call. I refuse to lose more time with my young child, to be able to romp and play freely. She is only little once. I want to explore the world with her. To me, in order to do that, I need to lose weight.
So, I told God last night that it’s time for Christina to head out on a new mission. My new mission is to learn how to be as healthy as I can be and to implement it UNTIL I ACHIEVE VICTORY!
There was a time I thought I’d never have children. Look at me now! I have a 2 yr. old! Praise God.
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