Dieter's Prayer
Lord, my soul is ripped with riot incited by my wicked diet. "We are what we eat," said a wise old man! And, Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can !
I want to rise on Judgment Day, that's plain, But, at my present weight, I'll need a crane. So grant me strength, that I may not fall Into the clutches of cholesterol !
At margarine I'll never mutter For the road to hell is paved with butter. And cream is cursed, and cake is awful, And Satan lurks in every waffle !
Give me this day my daily slice, But cut it thin and toast it twice. I beg upon my dimpled knees, Deliver me from jujubes please !
And when my days of dieting are done, And my war with Snickers bars is won, Let me stand with the heavenly throng, In a shining robe...size seven, long !
I can do it, Lord, if You'll show to me, The virtues of lettuce and celery. Teach me the evil of mayonnaise... Of pasta a la Milanaise, potatoes a la Lyonnaise... And crisp-fried chicken from the south ... Lord, if you love me... shut my mouth !
- Author Unknown Submitted by Lisa
Diet Calendar Entries for 09 June 2008:
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1312 kcal
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Fat: 49.60g | Prot: 32.13g | Carb: 191.08g.
Breakfast: milk, betty crocker. Lunch: betty crocker. Dinner: carl buddig, sara lee, Healthy Request Homestyle Chicken Noodle Soup. Snacks/Other: orville redenbacher. more...
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2375 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Yard Work (gardening) - 1 hour and 30 minutes, Resting - 14 hours and 30 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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