ppphhhttt's Journal, 21 October 2011

OMG. It's been 8 days since I journaled, yet it feels like...forever. I have been eating poorly for 2 weeks, maybe 3? I've lost count. And I keep telling myself, ride out the cravings, get it out of my system, and then get my shit together again.

Yet every day, when I leave work, some other craving pops into my head. Is it my body getting used to the crap I'm eating and in turn craving it even more? Or am I using it to avoid or bury something, push away stress, fill the void that I feel...what?

I do feel stressed, tired and worn out like I usually do. But is it because of the crap I'm eating, or is there something else going on? Only one way to find out and that is with clean eating and eliminate the variable that I can knowingly control.

This weekend I am making vegetable soup again. I am also going to count calories. I hate doing that...it's such a pain in the ass. Especially since I cook my own food. I will have to count everything and measure servings. I have to see this as a temporary thing, a means to an end if you will. Just like with exercise...it only hurt/sucks for an hour a day, 1/24th of my day.

So tomorrow is me getting my shit together.

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From one stranger to another, it gets easier. It seems hard... but all of a sudden things can just click and you find something you really enjoy and then... like that it doesn't feel like dieting. It is just looking forward to eating something you enjoy! :) I always knows days I miss working out I feel a bit crazy, it keeps me a bit chemically balanced. Good luck and good eats friend! 
21 Oct 11 by member: Moogi
Thanks, Moogi. I tend to beat myself up mentally, and when I journal about it I come to sensible conclusions and those 'click' moments (which I love). I'm learning that it's all about being human and accepting that humans aren't perfect, so it's OK. I have felt better this week since I started eating 'clean' again. So there is part of my answer. I know what all the chemicals and additives in food do, yet I'm still in denial. HaHa!! 
28 Oct 11 by member: ppphhhttt

     
 

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