Ms Elizabeth's Journal, 28 April 2023

I think I need my head examined. You'd think having issues that cause me to have a physical reaction to eating badly would be enough to make me not eat badly.. but it's not. Sometimes I will say screw it and say I'm going to eat x, y and z. Sure I will be violently sick and trapped in bed the next day BUT.. I'm still going to do it. It's a really good thing I don't have a food allergy. I feel like I would be allergic to peanuts and still want a peanut butter cup. I would be that woman that calls 911 to report need of assistance because I'm going to do something that requires them to come save me.

If I could just figure that part of my dysfunction out then I would be the size of a model. I'm working out just about daily or being physical doing yard work, etc. because it makes me feel better. So does gummy bears.. And meatloaf sandwiches. And beer... definitely peanut butter and chocolate.

The boyfriend is being super supportive with getting into shape and I feel like I'm letting us both down by stuffing my face with deliciousness. The weight isn't moving and I see zero difference.

I'm now accepting applicants who will follow me around and slap food out of my hands.