Heather MacD's Journal, 09 April 2023

Happy Rabbit Kiddo… You’re doing great… Understanding is the key to growth. Time is the key to change… the two are not always (rarely) synchronized. Take good care, DV 

PS: Nobody likes meds, but given the importance of your sleep, I am sure you have tried everything… If nothing else works, don’t forget about the magic pill (mirtazapine)… the effect is immediate, it does not build up in your system. Adjusting the dosage was pretty rudimentary… too much and you’re tired for hours after waking, too little and you sleep less, in between… I take only half (7.5mg) of the lowest dosage. I have been taking it for nearly 3 years now. I thought the sleep would be habit forming, but, the night I don’t take it, I can’t sleep and it’s not in my head. I have forgotten my pills some nights, and 2am, staring at the ceiling, I am wondering what the problem is :) DV 

With a long list of personal health issues, I'm not surprised that I don't sleep well. But personally I will never take meds to make me sleep either. I rely on my ambient music to help keep my mind calm enough to sleep but there again the bladder is usually what wakes me a couple times a night now. The joys of getting older :P But hey, at least I have figured out the correlation between sleep and fasting blood sugars and how lack of sleep increases those numbers. It's only one very small part of my medical wheel of knowledge for my body but it is good to know ;) 

I totally respect that, the bladder too :( I like your thought process… Aside from the undiagnosed ADHD, the sleep thing has been the bane of my existence. That I accomplished as much as I did was amazing, but I did not do it with grace (mindfulness). It cost me everything and everyone I cared about in my life. Recovery for me is coming too late in life, but I am grabbling hold of it and hanging onto it for dear life because it is all I have left. And that is not self pity in my words. It is determination to recover what I can…