miteslur's Journal, 13 April 2008

Well, well, well... here I find myself sitting and thinking and contemplating and thinking some more. I had a serious talk with my hubby yesterday, about my weight. I have come to a place where I know I NEED to lose weight and yet I have stalled in my weight loss journey. I guess I was kidding myself into thinking it would just happen by eating healthier foods. lol I had to ask myself "what is the problem?!". To be honest, I'm not sure other than a lack of true, deep down, commitment. Commitment and passion.

Within the last 2 weeks, I had something simple occur (medically) but didn't know it was "simple" when I first discovered it. It scared the beejuju out of me! My thoughts were "My daughter is TOO young to lose her mother!", followed immediately by "YOU HAVE GOT TO LOSE WEIGHT...N O W!!!". Thoughts of not wanting a stroke or heart attack to be my "wake up call" buzzed about my head for several days. Appreciation for life, my family, and friends, became evident! I am so thankful that I haven't had to experience a heart attack or stroke, nor do I want it to come to that. However, I am still saddled with the problem of "why can't I commit to losing weight"? I have not come up with a solid answer yet.
I have realized that to lose the weight, it must come from a commitment within my heart. I have also discovered that part of my problem could be that I'm a "hands on learner" and trying to follow SBD by a book could be why I haven't grasped it yet.

In any case, this next week I'm going to focus on finding out ways to help me be successful. I think part of my problem has been that I haven't treated my weight loss as a "must" nor have I viewed myself as "dieting". I've simply tried "changing my lifestyle" by eating better foods. Better foods is great, but in order to lose the weight, I have to make some drastic changes in my eating and exercise habits...and THIS is what I need to figure out. Where am I going wrong and how do I fix it? I NEED to change my frame of mind so that I am aware I AM dieting! I need to diet in order to lose weight. Once I've lost the weight, then I can focus on the healthy lifestyle. Somehow, though, I've settled for excuses to eat things I know I shouldn't, I guess. I was successful in losing weight a few years ago, when I joined Weight Watchers. But, I got bored with it and couldn't afford to keep paying the fees.

SO! It's time I spend this next week in revving up my motivation and focus on losing some dang weight! Tax season will be over on Tuesday! Praise God! Once Tuesday is over with, I intend to log all my food intake onto thedailyplate.com . That website seems to help. I will start with that and go from there. I have been increasing my exercise, thanks to the new challenge. However, reporting my weight by Saturday seems to be difficult for me. Saturday is the day we are out and about. However, I will try to report my weigh in by Friday afternoon.

I realize this is a bunch of mumbo jumbo to other people who read it. But, I needed to write it out so that I could see it. I need to get serious. And, I know it.


Came up with a solution to one problem...sweets. I have a sweet tooth terribly! Decided that instead of buying the WW ice cream bars and 100 cal. cookie packs, I will make myself SB dessert recipes to keep on hand. Just ran across a recipe for peanut butter and jelly cookies on the SBD website. Think I'll make a batch of those to keep in the freezer. =)