Bodybeautiful870's Journal, 13 January 2019

@ketten77, I know your intentions are unassailable, and "eat less, move more" may a great strategy when you only have a few pounds to lose. However, long and painful experience, anecdotal evidence, and science proves that it is an inadequate strategy for losing more than 100 pounds. At that weight, there's a good chance that years-long "habit" has become physical as well as psychological "addiction." The pleasure centers of the brain -- particularly those fueled by dopamine and endorphins -- have to be *rewired* in order to sustain the weight-loss effort. That is not an easy task. The long slog, the daily grinding-it-out, becomes just to overwhelming. It requires both physical and psychological changes to "rewire" the brain. ----------------------- @Bodybeautiful, I looked at your profile and weight history. They heavier we are, the easier it is to shed the excess fluid at first. Your more-steady progress since last May, after years of progress and relapse even as a member of FS, indicates a greater readiness to take on that rewiring I'm talking about. You don't say what your eating regimen is but, given the loss rate of 32 pounds in 8.5 months, you may need to adjust your strategy.  

Not everyone here has had that "morbidly obese" moment...I have, and I totally understand your feelings. You get to a point where you really don't see it. Lol, my friends tease (in a good way) that I am the epitome of "if I fits, I sits", the problem is...I think I fit! Ever seen that meme with the big fat cat in the teeny tiny box?? That is me! I think my "MO" moment happened at just the right time...I got super sick and was hospitalized repeatedly. At that moment I assumed that I was going to die. So did my friends and family. My friends weren't willing to give me and made me look hard at myself (again in a good way) and at that point I said to myself, "I don't want to die!" ...and that's how I got here. It wasn't fast. I was sick for 2 years before I found someone that I could work with. Excellent doctor who didn't push but didn't mess around. He helped me so much!! He helped me try a bunch of different diets that were healthy. And if one wasn't sustainable for me, we moved on to the next. After a while he asked if I would be willing to think about bariatric surgery and here I am. When I first got sick I weighed somewhere over 360 pounds, I don't know the exact number because I had stopped weighing myself. I lost about 25 pounds or so while I was super sick and then dropped and stayed at about 335 while we were working through those diets. I would lose 10 and gain 5...and now I'm at 301. I honestly didn't think that I would ever see the 200's again and I am only 3 pounds away from them! I think that the big thing that I got from this site was "weigh everything that you eat"...I didn't know how much I was eating. I love this place and these people and they are so helpful, just give it a chance, a real chance and I am sure that it will help you too! Spend some time looking at other people's food logs, watch what they eat. You'll get some great ideas! 

I love your attitude. And it will take you places. Keep up the good work. 

I realized how obese I *looked* when I saw my reflection in a darkened bus window. I couldn't believe that I was the woman looking back at me. At 39, in 1992, I was 285 pounds, having gained 100+ pounds in under seven years ("MO" -- called "Class 3" now -- with a BMI of over 42). I was completely hopeless, helpless, and humiliated; depressed, and anxious; and in a miserably unhappy marriage. AND COMPLETELY PARALYZED. By the time I was 49, I was on anti-depressant and anxiolytic medications, still 285 pounds and diabetic, divorced and bankrupt to boot, but I still had my well-paying job and God. From 2003 to 2005, I lost 25 pounds each year and then regrouped. Thereafter, I lost and gained about a ton, bouncing between 210 and 230, but was still addicted -- psychologically and physically -- to chocolate and sugar and flour, in that order. My diabetes had been completely out-of-control since 2006. Eventually, I was taking 13 prescription medications: two for hypertension, four for diabetes, two for gouty and degenerative arthritis, two for allergies, one for neuropathy, one for anxiety, one for sleep. Of these, diabetes has disabled me. It WILL kill me unless I kill IT. I read up on keto and diabetes and made a stab at LCHF/keto eating last May but was still not ready. Then I hit 244.5 on Christmas Day 2018, and I knew it was a quick slide to 285 and beyond. It took all that, all I'd been through, to get to my "MO MOMENT." (I love that, Katies71!) No matter what you weigh, you won't resolve to "get 'er done" till you have that "moment." 

@Miraculum...I love that too...can't remember who I stole it from lol but it fits! It just seems like it had to happen for me to wake up! 

I know you can do it, we will be here to help you if you need! ❤❤🙏  

Awesome attitude! You can do it! 

keep kicking it 

Good luck to you. Your post was me to a 'T'. You give me hope. I commend you on your positive attitude. Keep on keeping on.  

BRAVO, Bodybeautiful~ People who have never BEEN "Morbidly Obese" just can't relate to how BIG an endeavor it is to lose! At lower weights, just 5-10 pounds can put you in a different pant size. At 300+, you have to lose at least 30 to get down a size. I started this journey 14 years ago at 302 with GPS, and got down to 185 FOR A DAY in 2005. I maintained between 198-202 for over eight years before beginning to put the weight back on, until my "wake-up call" at 248 - having put back on almost HALF of the 100 pounds I had lost! I just went to a BMI calculator and found out that three pounds ago I moved down from JUST "Obese" (YES, if you've been "Morbidly Obese," it is JUST OBESE!) Now, I am JUST OVERWEIGHT! Things like that are HUGE in our lives! They have to be worked HARD for, and your having lost over 30 pounds is tremendous! Not everyone will realize just how hard this is for someone who weighs 100 or more pounds than they do. But, we who have been there, DO understand, and we're here to support you every step of the way! I'm SO GLAD to have you with us in the "Daily Accountability 2019-#2 Challenge," which starts today! I'm quite sure that the discipline of recording your results every day, along with the determination that you've already displayed and the desire that burns in your heart will GUARANTEE that you're going to see great results during this week! You're already a rock star - you're just going to be a slimmer, healthier, more fit rock star - and soon! 

You are strong! You've got this! 

I can identify with every word you write. I spent 6 years on this site feeling exactly the way you expressed. For me, the number one thing was "Don't Give Up!". I quit when the fear of feeling bad over failing is worse then the fear of failing. so, if I quit it is actually the 'lesser of the two evils'. Anyway, what worked for me was losing weight doing what I 'could' do, not what 'I wanted to do' or, what 'people told me I should do'. I was only able to see that when I carefully logged ALL my food and exercise. I had never done that before. 

Very well articulated. I have been there and done that as well. I was 321 pounds at the time I finally weighed myself. I was horrified as I believed I was maybe 250. I also believed I was smaller than I was so chairs, aisles etc were often surprises. I did lose 160 pounds in 3 years. I kept it off for a long time. Chaos entered my family for 4 years and I lost my handle on my weight and much of the good self care habits I had built up. I started back on this journey in August came to FS in September. The good news is that the habits I had honed for 12+ years all came back. I refused to see myself as 'less' when I saw the Morbidly obese title. I just told myself that I may be fat and I could attend to that. I was not Morbid in any sense of the word. Truly this is a matter of learning about what to eat and how much to eat. Then it is putting in place good habits to support good eating. The good habits include good self talk. Try to rephrase your thoughts so you are never using the language of deprivation. Instead take agency and tell yourself that you are choosing good, healthy food in good healthy portions because you want that for yourself. Then it is one step in front of the other. Sometimes it is an hour at a time sometimes it is a day at a time. Think of the turtle and the hare. Actually skip the hare. Just thing about how the steady progress of the turtle added up to crossing the finish line! 

"Actually skip the hare. Just think about how the steady progress of the turtle added up to crossing the finish line! " This statement needed to be repeated! Thank you 59Carol.  

You're an inspiration! Hang in there 👍 

Excellent thoughts and we all support your incredible process. 

I'm not a doctor or a dietitian, but I agree with Miraculum's first point. While what works for me might not work for you and vice versa, I have discovered at 300+ pounds that the recommended slow method simply does not work. Even when I actually stuck with it, I only dropped 20 pounds over the course of several months. The question you have to ask yourself, from the medical perspective, which is rougher on your body and more likely to drastically shorten your lifespan: losing weight "too fast" or staying more than 100 pounds overweight for years? I've gone more than 100 pounds overweight to slim, trim, and cut before -- and I stayed that way for quite a while (though when I did eventually "settle down," domestic life quickly brought about "comfortable" lifestyle changes that brought me right back). But I had to do it all at once. The hardest part for me was getting started -- and of that, breaking the habit of eating either to cope with stress or reward myself for something was probably the hardest part. back in 2005, at 304 pounds, I kicked off my 7 month 102 pound drop with a 4 day fast, consuming only water. I didn't do this for any weight loss reasons. I did it to prove to myself that I was master of my body, not food. It was a self-discipline thing. your greatest progress will be made at the table. I wouldn't even suggest trying to go hard with exercise until you've seen some success just from dietary changes. and there's nothing wrong with starting easy, like with walking, so you don't hurt yourself -- but that's only starting easy, not staying easy. This go around I got up to 328 -- the heftiest I've ever been in my life. Finally, the "something has to change" switch got flipped in my head and I'm down to 294 since I began Keto and IF about the second week of December. I didn't incorporate exercise until last week. I still can't do lunges -- too much on my knees at my size -- but I do other body weight exercises, like some pushups (nowhere near as many as I once could lol), tricep dips, squats, glute raises, calf raises, jumping jacks, and I walk -- even run in 30 second to 1 minute increments. You're right in saying that you can do it and that it's been done before. I've done it, I'm doing it again, plenty of others here are as well, and soon, you will be too. You just have to find what works for you. Feel free to consider our suggestions, but ultimately what works for you will be different because you're a different person. Just keep yourself accountable to whatever plan you make (I do like the idea of your multiple short term goals) and keep updating here so we can offer encouragement. It really does help. 

Beautifully written...you can do this glad your here. 

Oh, and on living in the South: That's unfortunate. Not that you live in the South. I love the South. But it's no fun when you tell your family at the holidays or your church family at pot luck Sunday, that you're eating only certain types of food, restricting your intake, etc. I don't know why, but for some reason here, it seems that when you politely decline that fried chicken, mashed potatoes, or apple pie, too many folks seem to take it as a personal insult. That might hard for a lot of folk to understand, and might even sound like a BS excuse, but I have found that dealing with family and friends is actually the hardest part. None of them argue when I say I need to lose some weight, they just seem offended when that requires that I don't eat when I come to visit. 

BodyBeautiful870 I have ready your post so many times, and admire the courage and authenticity of your reflection (which shines BTW). We are here supporting you and cheering you on. One day at a time friend, you'll get there 🧡.